The Wife Title

Happy New Year!

So hard to believe that it is already 2014. Writing it for the first time last week was so weird, just like it is every year. It always takes me a good month or two to fully grasp that it is, in fact, a different year. Once again.

2013 was definitely a challenging-yet-amazing year. Definitely the most life-changing year I have faced, thus far. I not only became a wife, but I started nannying again, planned a wedding without having a clue what I was doing, moved out of my parents home, I gained many in-laws, started cooking almost-daily, I had to get used to the fact that my last name is no longer Morris (which I am still getting used to...), tried to figure out how to live with a guy, became solely responsible for laundry, all the while figuring out this new identity I have taken on when I said, 'I do.'

Becoming a wife has been a lot harder than I anticipated.

I know I say this quite often throughout all of my entries, but it's so true. And I think it'll be the same when I become a mom for the first time. Being a wife is the most rewarding 'title' I've ever had, but it has also been the most difficult.

Now, don't misunderstand me when I say difficult. Let me explain.

There are many books out there written on marriage. Countless, even. Chris and I have bought and read a couple of them, and they were really insightful. There are also a ton of blogs and advice columns that are full of 'how to's' and 'don't do's' with your marriage. And, of course, everywhere you turn, there is someone who is ready to tell you how to make your marriage successful and pass on their wisdom to the next generation.

If you want any kind of information on how to have a fruitful, Godly marriage, it's available at your finger tips.

But, even with the technology and the bookstores and the wisdom others have gained, there is nothing that can fully prepare you for what married life is actually like. Absolutely nothing.

I fully believe that God created me to be a wife and mom. From the time I was very young, that's all I ever wanted. I honestly cannot remember a time when there was something else I really wanted to do with my life. All I could ever imagine for me when I was a 'grown up' was to be a stay-at-home wife and mom.

God has placed this desire so strongly in me, so this must come easy to me, right?

Yeah...no.

There isn't a book out there that addresses the tears filling up your eyes while you're trying to figure out how to be a wife, nanny, dance teacher, sister, daughter, and a good friend all at once. There's no blog that can explain just  how frustrated you become when you walk in the door after working 12 hours to find dirty dishes in the sink that you need for cooking dinner, the closets going bare while laundry is piled high beside the washing machine, and a starving man sitting in the living room who's also worked all day with no energy to do anything either. And no one can tell you why you are getting emotional when you can't tell if you're getting serious baby fever, or you're just wanting to fill the void of being desperately needed by someone.

No one, nor anything, can fully prepare you for what taking a man's last name fully entails. It brings out feelings and emotions you've never experienced before, and it goes against everything you've been doing the past 10+ years. It requires time, dedication, determination, perseverance, communication, cooperation, faithfulness,humility tons of prayer and even some yelling to make it work. It's changing your mindset from 'taking care of me,' to 'taking care of us.' It's adjusting the way you approach absolutely everything.

It's so much more than just marrying your best friend. It's everything that begins after the honeymoon ends.

Being a wife is tough, and it's more than I anticipated it being.

But, it brings me so much more joy and fulfillment than I could've ever imagined.

There is a man, who was a complete stranger to me just over 2 years ago, that has fallen in love with me the same way I have fallen in love with him. He knows that I'm crazy, I cry constantly, I can't make up my mind, and that I'm quiet when I'm hurting, but will blow up when I hit my limit. He knows I can become overwhelmed quickly, I'm a people-pleaser, that my love of coffee and chocolate may be a little ridiculous, and that I'm crazy.

Did I mention I'm crazy?

He didn't have to love me; but he chose to.

I get to go home to someone every night, who I know is just as excited to see me as I am to see him. There is someone who wants to know how my day went, who desires for me to lean on him when I'm struggling, and who enjoys starting tickle-fights with me (you're never too old for a good tickle-fight, especially with the guy is super ticklish!). I get to say goodnight to the love of my life every night, and get to kiss him goodbye every morning. 

There's a man who wanted to give me his last name, who desires to take care of me, who wants to have kids with me, and is looking forward to growing old with me. He gave up the life of a bachelor just to become my husband. 

My husband. 

Being a wife isn't exactly the most glorious and glamourous role a woman can have, and it's definitely not the easiest, but it's the most amazing title I could've ever asked for. 

Especially once I understood what being a wife meant.

Of course, there will be days when I forgot how wonderful the title 'wife' is. I imagine it will probably be when I'm wanting to talk while Chris is watching a game, or when I'm awake at 3:00am feeding a baby while he snoozes away, but I do know that he will continue to give me butterflies anytime I'm around him, and I will always be so blessed to to have him choose me to become his help mate.

******

I promise, I will start including more recipes and other life-experiences in this blog. But, in my defense, I've only been a wife for 4 months, 2 weeks, and 6 days.

I'm still a love-stricken newlywed, and I'm going to enjoy it as long as I can :)