Happy New Year!
So hard to believe that it is already 2014. Writing it for the first time last week was so weird, just like it is every year. It always takes me a good month or two to fully grasp that it is, in fact, a different year. Once again.
2013 was definitely a challenging-yet-amazing year. Definitely the most life-changing year I have faced, thus far. I not only became a wife, but I started nannying again, planned a wedding without having a clue what I was doing, moved out of my parents home, I gained many in-laws, started cooking almost-daily, I had to get used to the fact that my last name is no longer Morris (which I am still getting used to...), tried to figure out how to live with a guy, became solely responsible for laundry, all the while figuring out this new identity I have taken on when I said, 'I do.'
Becoming a wife has been a lot harder than I anticipated.
I know I say this quite often throughout all of my entries, but it's so true. And I think it'll be the same when I become a mom for the first time. Being a wife is the most rewarding 'title' I've ever had, but it has also been the most difficult.
Now, don't misunderstand me when I say difficult. Let me explain.
There are many books out there written on marriage. Countless, even. Chris and I have bought and read a couple of them, and they were really insightful. There are also a ton of blogs and advice columns that are full of 'how to's' and 'don't do's' with your marriage. And, of course, everywhere you turn, there is someone who is ready to tell you how to make your marriage successful and pass on their wisdom to the next generation.
If you want any kind of information on how to have a fruitful, Godly marriage, it's available at your finger tips.
But, even with the technology and the bookstores and the wisdom others have gained, there is nothing that can fully prepare you for what married life is actually like. Absolutely nothing.
I fully believe that God created me to be a wife and mom. From the time I was very young, that's all I ever wanted. I honestly cannot remember a time when there was something else I really wanted to do with my life. All I could ever imagine for me when I was a 'grown up' was to be a stay-at-home wife and mom.
God has placed this desire so strongly in me, so this must come easy to me, right?
Yeah...no.
There isn't a book out there that addresses the tears filling up your eyes while you're trying to figure out how to be a wife, nanny, dance teacher, sister, daughter, and a good friend all at once. There's no blog that can explain just how frustrated you become when you walk in the door after working 12 hours to find dirty dishes in the sink that you need for cooking dinner, the closets going bare while laundry is piled high beside the washing machine, and a starving man sitting in the living room who's also worked all day with no energy to do anything either. And no one can tell you why you are getting emotional when you can't tell if you're getting serious baby fever, or you're just wanting to fill the void of being desperately needed by someone.
No one, nor anything, can fully prepare you for what taking a man's last name fully entails. It brings out feelings and emotions you've never experienced before, and it goes against everything you've been doing the past 10+ years. It requires time, dedication, determination, perseverance, communication, cooperation, faithfulness,humility tons of prayer and even some yelling to make it work. It's changing your mindset from 'taking care of me,' to 'taking care of us.' It's adjusting the way you approach absolutely everything.
It's so much more than just marrying your best friend. It's everything that begins after the honeymoon ends.
Being a wife is tough, and it's more than I anticipated it being.
But, it brings me so much more joy and fulfillment than I could've ever imagined.
There is a man, who was a complete stranger to me just over 2 years ago, that has fallen in love with me the same way I have fallen in love with him. He knows that I'm crazy, I cry constantly, I can't make up my mind, and that I'm quiet when I'm hurting, but will blow up when I hit my limit. He knows I can become overwhelmed quickly, I'm a people-pleaser, that my love of coffee and chocolate may be a little ridiculous, and that I'm crazy.
Did I mention I'm crazy?
He didn't have to love me; but he chose to.
I get to go home to someone every night, who I know is just as excited to see me as I am to see him. There is someone who wants to know how my day went, who desires for me to lean on him when I'm struggling, and who enjoys starting tickle-fights with me (you're never too old for a good tickle-fight, especially with the guy is super ticklish!). I get to say goodnight to the love of my life every night, and get to kiss him goodbye every morning.
There's a man who wanted to give me his last name, who desires to take care of me, who wants to have kids with me, and is looking forward to growing old with me. He gave up the life of a bachelor just to become my husband.
My husband.
Being a wife isn't exactly the most glorious and glamourous role a woman can have, and it's definitely not the easiest, but it's the most amazing title I could've ever asked for.
Especially once I understood what being a wife meant.
Of course, there will be days when I forgot how wonderful the title 'wife' is. I imagine it will probably be when I'm wanting to talk while Chris is watching a game, or when I'm awake at 3:00am feeding a baby while he snoozes away, but I do know that he will continue to give me butterflies anytime I'm around him, and I will always be so blessed to to have him choose me to become his help mate.
******
I promise, I will start including more recipes and other life-experiences in this blog. But, in my defense, I've only been a wife for 4 months, 2 weeks, and 6 days.
I'm still a love-stricken newlywed, and I'm going to enjoy it as long as I can :)
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Monday, January 6, 2014
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Women Are Like Onions...
I think I am FINALLY over the awful beginnings of a sinus infection. I still don't feel awesome, but I feel so much better than I did. Just in time for me to hang out with the little man today, sure have missed him on my days off!
After babysitting for so many families, and having dozens of little girls walk into my class at dance, it's safe to say that no two children are alike.
If you have more than one child, or if you have had a group of kids in the same room with you for longer than 5 minutes, you know what I mean.
Especially with the little girls. Every little girl I have encountered is different from the next. And that doesn't change as they get older. In fact, I think it becomes even more evident how different women can be from one another.
Some women are strong, independent, 'no man-no cry' attitude who are very much career driven.
Some women are timid, very shy, non-assertive in social situations who are more than okay with taking the back seat to others who want the spotlight.
Others are funny, the life of the party, hasn't met a stranger before and probably never will. And you can't forget those who are just down-right awkward, but embrace it and love themselves for it.
Not all are this cut-and-dry, though. Probably more women than not are a mixture of two or three of these, plus other characteristics I haven't even begun to talk about yet.
Women are like onions: we have many, many layers.
Now, I cannot sit here and break down every layer of a woman. We will be here for years. But I can talk about a few of my layers, since I know myself better than any other woman out there and can be a little more transparent than just summarizing.
Side note: I think this is why the first year or two of marriage are some of the hardest. Whoever said, 'the first year is the honeymoon year,' got lucky. I have enjoyed every second of being married to Chris, but it's tough! Most of our arguments and disagreements don't stem from Chris, but from me. And it almost always has something to do with a 'layer' of me that Chris either doesn't know well or hasn't discovered.
Anyways, back to our discussion of women being like onions.
Being a woman is so very complex. There's so much to a woman's heart and spirit, that I feel like I discover something new about my own self all of the time. With each new experience, I uncover either more layers about myself, or just how thick and deep some of those layers I already knew about are. Being a woman doesn't come with a handbook, although I (and my husband) wish it did.
Since I was very young, I've been more on the sensitive side. I would cry at the drop of a hat, especially if someone else was crying. Although I've gotten a little more control over it, I still cry all of the time. At least two or three times a day I am wiping tears off of my cheeks.
I've also been a nurturer and desire nurturing in return. I want to take care of everyone, while being taken care of as well. I enjoyed baby dolls growing up, and I think that's what has inspired me to be a nanny. Also, I spent a huge part of my life at home with my mom and sisters, so that nurturing/being nurtured characteristic has come very naturally and has been encouraged for as long as I can remember.
Once I become a teenager and realized boys did not have cooties, I noticed another side of me: the hopeless romantic.
I have never been a career-driven women. There was nothing offered in high school that inspired me to commit 4+ years in college to achieve my goal. I wasn't the little girl who knew she wanted to be a school teacher or a nurse when she grew up. If anything, I wanted to be an actress, but we see how far that dream has gotten me. There was just nothing out there in the world that I wanted to be.
Except a wife and mom.
Instead of pursuing a college degree, I was pursuing a marriage license. I wanted to find the love of my life, take his last name, then make some babies.
All within a year or two of meeting.
I was an unrealistic hopeless romantic.
Once I went through high school without a date, I then figured I'd better figure out what I should do with my life in the meantime. I decided to then enroll at Augusta Tech to pursue an Associate's Degree in Early Childhood Care and Education.
That lasted all of three weeks.
I don't regret dropping out of Augusta Tech, not at all. But part of me does regret that I didn't then enroll at Augusta State University. Even if I didn't finish a degree, I would've at least had a foundation if I ever decided to go back. If I decided to go back in the future, I would have to start from scratch.
But that's okay, though! My life may be somewhere different now if I had.
Once I dropped out, I then had to find a job. That December, I got my first nannying job, watching little Miss Bella. I also became a dance teacher, a doctor's receptionist, a preschool worker at my childhood church, and babysat on the side.
All the while, still single and looking for love. But no luck.
I didn't keep a job for super long, because I wasn't happy. Nothing, with the exception of teaching dance and watching babies, satisfied what my soul desired. I desired love and to be loved. I desired to take care of and be taken care of. I desired a man to sweep me off my feet and carry me off into the sunset.
Many men came, and they all went. Some by their choice, some by mine. Most left on a bad note, a couple scarred me deeper than I ever thought imaginable. None were my Knight in Shining Armor.
At this moment, I realized just how much of a hopeless romantic I was. I always thought there was something wrong with me, though. Why didn't I desire to be a teacher or an accountant? Why were people insisting that I was wasting my intelligence by not attending college, that they were almost disappointed in me that I wasn't enrolled somewhere earning a degree? It just added fuel to the fire that was telling me I was wrong with the direction I allowed my life to go in, but why was I not driven to do and to be what they wanted me to be?
Why do I have this 'layer' of my life that makes up such a huge part of me, but I cannot shake it nor can I satisfy?
I then realized that I was not made a hopeless romantic by mistake.
I was made, with a Divine purpose, to be the way that I am. There's a reason I wanted to be swept off my feet. There's a reason that a part of me wanted so strongly to believe in love at first (or second) sight. There's a reason I desired to take care of my husband and our kids, and there's a reason I desired nothing else but that.
If I was made any other way, my life would be so very different.
If you've followed my blog any, you know that my Knight finally came, and boy, did he sweep me off my feet! I do believe it was love at second sight (this entry explains), and I fully believe he's the reason I was made to be a hopeless romantic.
I probably chased a rabbit with this entry, and hopefully I didn't lose too many people along the way, but I feel like there are others out there who have this desire and have felt this way as well, and I want to encourage those.
Nothing's wrong with you if college is not screaming your name, and you're not crazy if there's nothing you would rather do than to take care of your man and your kids.
There's a reason, you just have to be patient to find out why.
Now that this 'layer' of mine has been met, it's, of course, altered a little bit. I'm still a hopeless romantic, but just in a different way. I'm very mushy-gushy and I absolutely love it. I am probably the girl you would see walking down the street, being a little too 'into' her man.
I don't really care, though. The rings on my left hand allows me be that way.
I also love the mushy-gushy gifts: the love notes (or texts now-a-days), the flowers, the silly little lovey-dovey things that make people gag. I probably bombard Chris with all of this a little too much (except I don't give him flowers, that would be weird...), but, once again, I don't care. It makes me happy, I know he knows that he's so deeply loved by me, and I haven't received any complaints yet.
Sounds like I need to keep 'em comin'!
Women are definitely like onions. You can't fully judge us by what we allow you to see, because there's so much more underneath that you haven't even begun to discover.
I think what made me love Chris even more was the fact that he wants to know all of the different 'layers' I have, even if some are pretty scary. His admittance to not knowing everything there is about me, but wanting and desiring to uncover as much as he can while it's just the two of us was probably one of the sweetest and most loving things I have ever heard. It's hard to choose to be vulnerable when you don't know what someone's reaction will be, but knowing that there is someone who asks you to be vulnerable so they can know you better than anyone else, and will love you unconditionally even after they discover it all, is an amazing and beautiful thing.
The baby and I met Chris for lunch today, and we had such a great time. I love moments where I can see him during the day. Even though we spend all of our free time together, I just can't get enough of my hot man!
Told ya I was a hopeless romantic :)
After babysitting for so many families, and having dozens of little girls walk into my class at dance, it's safe to say that no two children are alike.
If you have more than one child, or if you have had a group of kids in the same room with you for longer than 5 minutes, you know what I mean.
Especially with the little girls. Every little girl I have encountered is different from the next. And that doesn't change as they get older. In fact, I think it becomes even more evident how different women can be from one another.
Some women are strong, independent, 'no man-no cry' attitude who are very much career driven.
Some women are timid, very shy, non-assertive in social situations who are more than okay with taking the back seat to others who want the spotlight.
Others are funny, the life of the party, hasn't met a stranger before and probably never will. And you can't forget those who are just down-right awkward, but embrace it and love themselves for it.
Not all are this cut-and-dry, though. Probably more women than not are a mixture of two or three of these, plus other characteristics I haven't even begun to talk about yet.
Women are like onions: we have many, many layers.
Now, I cannot sit here and break down every layer of a woman. We will be here for years. But I can talk about a few of my layers, since I know myself better than any other woman out there and can be a little more transparent than just summarizing.
Side note: I think this is why the first year or two of marriage are some of the hardest. Whoever said, 'the first year is the honeymoon year,' got lucky. I have enjoyed every second of being married to Chris, but it's tough! Most of our arguments and disagreements don't stem from Chris, but from me. And it almost always has something to do with a 'layer' of me that Chris either doesn't know well or hasn't discovered.
Anyways, back to our discussion of women being like onions.
Being a woman is so very complex. There's so much to a woman's heart and spirit, that I feel like I discover something new about my own self all of the time. With each new experience, I uncover either more layers about myself, or just how thick and deep some of those layers I already knew about are. Being a woman doesn't come with a handbook, although I (and my husband) wish it did.
Since I was very young, I've been more on the sensitive side. I would cry at the drop of a hat, especially if someone else was crying. Although I've gotten a little more control over it, I still cry all of the time. At least two or three times a day I am wiping tears off of my cheeks.
I've also been a nurturer and desire nurturing in return. I want to take care of everyone, while being taken care of as well. I enjoyed baby dolls growing up, and I think that's what has inspired me to be a nanny. Also, I spent a huge part of my life at home with my mom and sisters, so that nurturing/being nurtured characteristic has come very naturally and has been encouraged for as long as I can remember.
Once I become a teenager and realized boys did not have cooties, I noticed another side of me: the hopeless romantic.
I have never been a career-driven women. There was nothing offered in high school that inspired me to commit 4+ years in college to achieve my goal. I wasn't the little girl who knew she wanted to be a school teacher or a nurse when she grew up. If anything, I wanted to be an actress, but we see how far that dream has gotten me. There was just nothing out there in the world that I wanted to be.
Except a wife and mom.
Instead of pursuing a college degree, I was pursuing a marriage license. I wanted to find the love of my life, take his last name, then make some babies.
All within a year or two of meeting.
I was an unrealistic hopeless romantic.
Once I went through high school without a date, I then figured I'd better figure out what I should do with my life in the meantime. I decided to then enroll at Augusta Tech to pursue an Associate's Degree in Early Childhood Care and Education.
That lasted all of three weeks.
I don't regret dropping out of Augusta Tech, not at all. But part of me does regret that I didn't then enroll at Augusta State University. Even if I didn't finish a degree, I would've at least had a foundation if I ever decided to go back. If I decided to go back in the future, I would have to start from scratch.
But that's okay, though! My life may be somewhere different now if I had.
Once I dropped out, I then had to find a job. That December, I got my first nannying job, watching little Miss Bella. I also became a dance teacher, a doctor's receptionist, a preschool worker at my childhood church, and babysat on the side.
All the while, still single and looking for love. But no luck.
I didn't keep a job for super long, because I wasn't happy. Nothing, with the exception of teaching dance and watching babies, satisfied what my soul desired. I desired love and to be loved. I desired to take care of and be taken care of. I desired a man to sweep me off my feet and carry me off into the sunset.
Many men came, and they all went. Some by their choice, some by mine. Most left on a bad note, a couple scarred me deeper than I ever thought imaginable. None were my Knight in Shining Armor.
At this moment, I realized just how much of a hopeless romantic I was. I always thought there was something wrong with me, though. Why didn't I desire to be a teacher or an accountant? Why were people insisting that I was wasting my intelligence by not attending college, that they were almost disappointed in me that I wasn't enrolled somewhere earning a degree? It just added fuel to the fire that was telling me I was wrong with the direction I allowed my life to go in, but why was I not driven to do and to be what they wanted me to be?
Why do I have this 'layer' of my life that makes up such a huge part of me, but I cannot shake it nor can I satisfy?
I then realized that I was not made a hopeless romantic by mistake.
I was made, with a Divine purpose, to be the way that I am. There's a reason I wanted to be swept off my feet. There's a reason that a part of me wanted so strongly to believe in love at first (or second) sight. There's a reason I desired to take care of my husband and our kids, and there's a reason I desired nothing else but that.
If I was made any other way, my life would be so very different.
If you've followed my blog any, you know that my Knight finally came, and boy, did he sweep me off my feet! I do believe it was love at second sight (this entry explains), and I fully believe he's the reason I was made to be a hopeless romantic.
I probably chased a rabbit with this entry, and hopefully I didn't lose too many people along the way, but I feel like there are others out there who have this desire and have felt this way as well, and I want to encourage those.
Nothing's wrong with you if college is not screaming your name, and you're not crazy if there's nothing you would rather do than to take care of your man and your kids.
There's a reason, you just have to be patient to find out why.
Now that this 'layer' of mine has been met, it's, of course, altered a little bit. I'm still a hopeless romantic, but just in a different way. I'm very mushy-gushy and I absolutely love it. I am probably the girl you would see walking down the street, being a little too 'into' her man.
I don't really care, though. The rings on my left hand allows me be that way.
I also love the mushy-gushy gifts: the love notes (or texts now-a-days), the flowers, the silly little lovey-dovey things that make people gag. I probably bombard Chris with all of this a little too much (except I don't give him flowers, that would be weird...), but, once again, I don't care. It makes me happy, I know he knows that he's so deeply loved by me, and I haven't received any complaints yet.
Sounds like I need to keep 'em comin'!
Women are definitely like onions. You can't fully judge us by what we allow you to see, because there's so much more underneath that you haven't even begun to discover.
I think what made me love Chris even more was the fact that he wants to know all of the different 'layers' I have, even if some are pretty scary. His admittance to not knowing everything there is about me, but wanting and desiring to uncover as much as he can while it's just the two of us was probably one of the sweetest and most loving things I have ever heard. It's hard to choose to be vulnerable when you don't know what someone's reaction will be, but knowing that there is someone who asks you to be vulnerable so they can know you better than anyone else, and will love you unconditionally even after they discover it all, is an amazing and beautiful thing.
The baby and I met Chris for lunch today, and we had such a great time. I love moments where I can see him during the day. Even though we spend all of our free time together, I just can't get enough of my hot man!
Told ya I was a hopeless romantic :)
Monday, November 18, 2013
The Terrible World of Sinusitis
Sorry it's been a little while since I've posted last. I normally write on my blog while the little boy I nanny takes a nap, but I've had some days off, so I wanted to put the blog off for a little bit while I got caught up on everything.
But I'm back!
In my last entry, I had mentioned that I had made our wreath we're going to use on our front door for Christmas. Here it is!
I have to admit, I'm pretty proud of it! There's something about making my own creations that makes me so happy.
It's also super addictive. I'm thinking about making a wreath for each door in our house. Or at least make something to put on every door. There are just so many possibilities!
For as long as I can remember, I have had sinus problems. I honestly don't remember a time when I didn't have a stuffy nose and constant hacking during the winter. It's been such a reoccurring ordeal that I'm running out of different combinations of antibiotics to try because my body has become immune to so many.
It never fails, I will get a sinus infection once the weather turns cold, and I will keep it (antibiotics or not) until it turns warm. Most of the time I can tolerate it with Sudafed and Alka-Seltzer gel caps, but sometimes it finally gets to the point where I have to get a prescription. Normally, I don't mind it all too much, just because it's worse at night and nobody sees me while I sleep.
Until this year.
Chris said I was 'gettin' it' the other night with my snoring. That's so embarrassing.
I've told him so many times that if he nudges me, I'll stop snoring and go right back to sleep. But, being the sweet man he is, said I was finally sleeping so good that he didn't want to bother me.
Still doesn't ease the embarrassing fact that I was snoring loud enough to wake him up, especially since it takes a lot more than an air horn to wake him up when he's passed out.
(I'm assuming it would take more than an air horn. I've never woke him up with anything more than a vigorous shake and poking him in his side until he opens his eyes. I feel like he would retaliate if I set off an air horn while he's fast asleep, and I'm not sure I want to know what his mind would come up with for payback, so I'll stick with the shaking-poking method.)
I have also woken up in the morning with my mouth wide open and drool that has been dried around the edges of my lips. I know that is not an attractive face to turn over and stare at, and I feel like if he knew that was what he was going to get to wake up to during sinus-season, he may have thought twice before he asked me to marry him.
My poor husband.
It doesn't matter how hard I try to sleep 'attractively' each night, I wake up looking like death x5. And that's on a night when I can actually breathe through my nose! Thank goodness he loves me enough to kiss me every morning, even though I could be Bride of Frankenstein's twin sister.
I know we have only been married for three months, and I have a feeling there will be a lot more in our future that will test just how much he loves me, but I believe this has been the peak thus far. You have to be in love with me to allow me to keep sleeping beside you every night, even though you know the not-so-great sight you will see when you wake up.
Although I miss my little guy, I am thankful for a couple of days off to tackle this sinus junk. The Lord was gracious enough to me to hold the sickness off until I had some time to get a handle on it during a break. But it is definitely kicking my butt right now.
Unfortunately, laundry and the messy house didn't get the memo. So, off to do some chores, I go.
But not before I watch What Not to Wear and eat me some amazing soup I whipped up over the weekend. I think both of those are necessary on my path to recovery :) While I recover, enjoy this little meme that I feel perfectly explains my entry:
But I'm back!
In my last entry, I had mentioned that I had made our wreath we're going to use on our front door for Christmas. Here it is!
It's also super addictive. I'm thinking about making a wreath for each door in our house. Or at least make something to put on every door. There are just so many possibilities!
For as long as I can remember, I have had sinus problems. I honestly don't remember a time when I didn't have a stuffy nose and constant hacking during the winter. It's been such a reoccurring ordeal that I'm running out of different combinations of antibiotics to try because my body has become immune to so many.
It never fails, I will get a sinus infection once the weather turns cold, and I will keep it (antibiotics or not) until it turns warm. Most of the time I can tolerate it with Sudafed and Alka-Seltzer gel caps, but sometimes it finally gets to the point where I have to get a prescription. Normally, I don't mind it all too much, just because it's worse at night and nobody sees me while I sleep.
Until this year.
Chris said I was 'gettin' it' the other night with my snoring. That's so embarrassing.
I've told him so many times that if he nudges me, I'll stop snoring and go right back to sleep. But, being the sweet man he is, said I was finally sleeping so good that he didn't want to bother me.
Still doesn't ease the embarrassing fact that I was snoring loud enough to wake him up, especially since it takes a lot more than an air horn to wake him up when he's passed out.
(I'm assuming it would take more than an air horn. I've never woke him up with anything more than a vigorous shake and poking him in his side until he opens his eyes. I feel like he would retaliate if I set off an air horn while he's fast asleep, and I'm not sure I want to know what his mind would come up with for payback, so I'll stick with the shaking-poking method.)
I have also woken up in the morning with my mouth wide open and drool that has been dried around the edges of my lips. I know that is not an attractive face to turn over and stare at, and I feel like if he knew that was what he was going to get to wake up to during sinus-season, he may have thought twice before he asked me to marry him.
My poor husband.
It doesn't matter how hard I try to sleep 'attractively' each night, I wake up looking like death x5. And that's on a night when I can actually breathe through my nose! Thank goodness he loves me enough to kiss me every morning, even though I could be Bride of Frankenstein's twin sister.
I know we have only been married for three months, and I have a feeling there will be a lot more in our future that will test just how much he loves me, but I believe this has been the peak thus far. You have to be in love with me to allow me to keep sleeping beside you every night, even though you know the not-so-great sight you will see when you wake up.
Although I miss my little guy, I am thankful for a couple of days off to tackle this sinus junk. The Lord was gracious enough to me to hold the sickness off until I had some time to get a handle on it during a break. But it is definitely kicking my butt right now.
Unfortunately, laundry and the messy house didn't get the memo. So, off to do some chores, I go.
But not before I watch What Not to Wear and eat me some amazing soup I whipped up over the weekend. I think both of those are necessary on my path to recovery :) While I recover, enjoy this little meme that I feel perfectly explains my entry:
Monday, November 4, 2013
November 4th: The Day That Changed My Life
Halloween was so much fun! We had a great time with the family, and our costume was a hit! I definitely think this one will go down as one of the best, and I'm already excited about next year's! But we still have Thanksgiving and Christmas to go, so not too excited yet :)
November 4th is a very special day to me.
Up until a couple of years ago, November 4th was just another day. The only significance it had was that it was three weeks from Thanksgiving and 50 days from Christmas.
But that's pretty much it.
Honestly, it wasn't that big of a deal two years ago. It just happened to be the day that Chris asked me out on our first date.
It has meant so much since then.
If you haven't heard our story before, here it is:
Chris and I met in early October 2011. We were both going out with a group of mutual friends, and we were introduced to each other. I did notice that he was very hot (who wouldn't?), but I was interested in another guy hanging out with us, so I didn't think much of it. Chris actually tried to start up a conversation with me while we were out, and we talked for a little bit, but I kind of kept it short. Not on purpose! I just didn't live an interesting life to talk about and I didn't want to bore him.
At the end of the night, we all went our separate ways. The guy I was interested in didn't ask for my number, but Chris sent me a friend request on Facebook soon after, so I think that was the first sign of something stirring up.
A few weeks passed and the other guy and I diminished completely. He definitely wasn't interested and I wasn't going to pursue him. I happened to be talking to our friend Daniel at the dance studio and he mentioned something about Chris liking me. I immediately perked up and started blushing. That hot guy...likes ME?! I didn't believe it at first.
Until Florida-Georgia weekend.
I went over to Daniel's girlfriend Kati's house to watch the game, not knowing that Chris was there too. As soon as I walked in the door and saw him, my heart started skipping and I had butterflies. He was sitting on the smaller couch with another friend of ours, and I had my baby sister with me, so I sat on the opposite couch.
I couldn't focus on the game. The only thing I could focus on was the fact that I wasn't sitting beside Chris, and it felt so wrong.
I knew I was supposed to be beside him. Not because I wanted to (although I definitely did!), but because I knew that's where I belonged. Needless to say, and I was beyond jealous of our female friend sitting next to him.
Looking back on that day, it's quite comical...and quite awesome.
Chris, Daniel, Kati and I ended up going out that night to the Halloween party at a local dance hall. We looked like hot messes, but we didn't care. It was a lot of fun.
I spent the night with Kati afterwards, and Chris left kind of abruptly. We didn't get to say bye, which I was a little sad about. I thought that our time together was over, he would head back to Athens, and I would be left alone. Once again.
Thank goodness he left his sunglasses in Kati's car.
The next day, he came back to get them...and ended up staying all day. We watched a couple of movies, went a grabbed pizza, and FINALLY he put his arm around me. Towards the end of the night, he whispered in my ear, 'Hey...can I have your number?' I went to give it to him a normal voice, but he shhh-ed me and made me whisper it to him.
I knew at that moment our relationship was going to be the greatest ever.
He left that night to go back to college, we started texting immediately after he arrived in Athens, and he asked me out on a date for that Friday.
November 4th.
I tell people I knew I was going to marry him after our first date, but honestly, I knew the first time we sat beside each other.
You can say it's love at first (or second) sight.
Our first date was awkward, yet the best date ever.
He picked me up at my house around 5 or so and, unfortunately, no one was at my house to meet him.
I will say he did kiss me almost as soon as he walked in the house. Normally, I would find that a little soon. Not with him, though. It felt...right.
We drove almost the entire length of Washington Road, looking for which Mexican restaurant to stop at. We passed three or four until we finally ended up at Mi Ranchos, about thirty minutes after we left my house. It didn't bother me at all, I just felt bad that I could've gotten him there sooner without wasting so much gas. He seemed to just enjoy spending that time with me while looking, though, so that made me feel better.
We were sat outside during karaoke night after we had asked to sit inside.
Awkward moment #1.
We were then sat at a high top with two chairs that didn't match. I happened to get into the really tall chair that made me look like a giant, while Chris sat down in a normal chair that made him look pretty short.
Awkward moment #2.
I finally changed chairs so we could be at eye-level, which helped the awkward-ness, but then we realized our table was completely uneven and wobbled every time you touched it.
Awkward moment #3.
We just laughed about it. It was an interesting way to start off our first date, but knowing us now, that's so typical for our relationship.
Never a dull moment.
After dinner, we drove over to the theater to see what was playing. Nothing caught our eye, so what did we do next?
We went to The Christmas Tree Shoppe.
It. Was. Awesome.
We walked around the whole store, joking about how you can find almost anything you need at that random place.
Decorations? They got it. Detergent? You bet. An outdoor hammock? It's there. It's just the most random place ever. And we were having so much fun making fun of that fact.
Once we left there, we went back to his house to watch P.S. I Love You and Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows: Part II.
Both picked by him. Both made me super happy.
I don't think Chris drove me home until after 1:00am. Even then, I didn't want to go home. I didn't want to leave him. I knew that's where I needed to be, that's where I was meant to be.
With him.
Before 2011, November 4th didn't mean much. It was just another day, like the majority of the days I lived through. Nothing special.
Today, November 4th is the day that changed my life.
Twice.
Exactly a year after our first date, Chris drove us over to the Lady Antebellum Theater to exchange gifts.
I gave him a couple of shirts.
He gave me a ring.
My life was forever changed, once again, on November 4th.
To me, November 4th means just as much as August 17th. Of course, August 17th is my absolute favorite day of the year now since I became Mrs. Taryn Johns on that date. But August 17th would just be another day if it hadn't been for November 4th.
We have now been married 2 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days. This time two years ago, I was hoping this is where I would be: happily married to the man of my dreams and living the life I have desired for so long. I still catch myself looking at Chris in disbelief that this is my amazing life now. I get to wake up next to him every single morning and fall asleep next to him every single night, and I can't imagine my life any other way.
That woman I was two years ago today was struggling to find her place in the world, but was hoping Chris could help her discover it. The woman I am today is everything I would hope to be, and so much more.
I still can't believe it's been two years since our first date. It feels like it was twenty years ago; I just can't remember life without my husband anymore.
I feel like my life has re-started twice: First, when I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior. Second, when I knew Chris was my Knight in Shining Armor. It's just amazing to see The Lord's hand in absolutely everything, even the tiny details. If so many things had not fallen into place when it did, and if so many prayers I had prayed had been answered with a yes, I wouldn't be writing this blog about how much I love my Chris.
And November 4th would mean nothing.
So, to keep up with the giving thanks every day of November...
Day 4: I am thankful for first dates, for diamond rings, and for the man who gave me both, along with so very much more. I'm thankful for a God who knows exactly what He's doing and who graciously gave me a husband whom I get to fall even more in love with each and every day. I did nothing to deserve this life, but I am so thankful that The Lord is merciful and gave me Chris.
I could go on and on about how much I love my husband and how thankful I am for him, but I think this entry is long enough, and there's some General Tso's Chicken in the fridge that's calling my name.
Have I said before how much I love this time of year?! Yay for autumn and winter!
 |
| Halloween 2013 |
Up until a couple of years ago, November 4th was just another day. The only significance it had was that it was three weeks from Thanksgiving and 50 days from Christmas.
But that's pretty much it.
Honestly, it wasn't that big of a deal two years ago. It just happened to be the day that Chris asked me out on our first date.
It has meant so much since then.
If you haven't heard our story before, here it is:
Chris and I met in early October 2011. We were both going out with a group of mutual friends, and we were introduced to each other. I did notice that he was very hot (who wouldn't?), but I was interested in another guy hanging out with us, so I didn't think much of it. Chris actually tried to start up a conversation with me while we were out, and we talked for a little bit, but I kind of kept it short. Not on purpose! I just didn't live an interesting life to talk about and I didn't want to bore him.
At the end of the night, we all went our separate ways. The guy I was interested in didn't ask for my number, but Chris sent me a friend request on Facebook soon after, so I think that was the first sign of something stirring up.
A few weeks passed and the other guy and I diminished completely. He definitely wasn't interested and I wasn't going to pursue him. I happened to be talking to our friend Daniel at the dance studio and he mentioned something about Chris liking me. I immediately perked up and started blushing. That hot guy...likes ME?! I didn't believe it at first.
Until Florida-Georgia weekend.
I went over to Daniel's girlfriend Kati's house to watch the game, not knowing that Chris was there too. As soon as I walked in the door and saw him, my heart started skipping and I had butterflies. He was sitting on the smaller couch with another friend of ours, and I had my baby sister with me, so I sat on the opposite couch.
I couldn't focus on the game. The only thing I could focus on was the fact that I wasn't sitting beside Chris, and it felt so wrong.
I knew I was supposed to be beside him. Not because I wanted to (although I definitely did!), but because I knew that's where I belonged. Needless to say, and I was beyond jealous of our female friend sitting next to him.
Looking back on that day, it's quite comical...and quite awesome.
Chris, Daniel, Kati and I ended up going out that night to the Halloween party at a local dance hall. We looked like hot messes, but we didn't care. It was a lot of fun.
I spent the night with Kati afterwards, and Chris left kind of abruptly. We didn't get to say bye, which I was a little sad about. I thought that our time together was over, he would head back to Athens, and I would be left alone. Once again.
Thank goodness he left his sunglasses in Kati's car.
The next day, he came back to get them...and ended up staying all day. We watched a couple of movies, went a grabbed pizza, and FINALLY he put his arm around me. Towards the end of the night, he whispered in my ear, 'Hey...can I have your number?' I went to give it to him a normal voice, but he shhh-ed me and made me whisper it to him.
I knew at that moment our relationship was going to be the greatest ever.
He left that night to go back to college, we started texting immediately after he arrived in Athens, and he asked me out on a date for that Friday.
November 4th.
I tell people I knew I was going to marry him after our first date, but honestly, I knew the first time we sat beside each other.
You can say it's love at first (or second) sight.
Our first date was awkward, yet the best date ever.
He picked me up at my house around 5 or so and, unfortunately, no one was at my house to meet him.
I will say he did kiss me almost as soon as he walked in the house. Normally, I would find that a little soon. Not with him, though. It felt...right.
We drove almost the entire length of Washington Road, looking for which Mexican restaurant to stop at. We passed three or four until we finally ended up at Mi Ranchos, about thirty minutes after we left my house. It didn't bother me at all, I just felt bad that I could've gotten him there sooner without wasting so much gas. He seemed to just enjoy spending that time with me while looking, though, so that made me feel better.
We were sat outside during karaoke night after we had asked to sit inside.
Awkward moment #1.
We were then sat at a high top with two chairs that didn't match. I happened to get into the really tall chair that made me look like a giant, while Chris sat down in a normal chair that made him look pretty short.
Awkward moment #2.
I finally changed chairs so we could be at eye-level, which helped the awkward-ness, but then we realized our table was completely uneven and wobbled every time you touched it.
Awkward moment #3.
We just laughed about it. It was an interesting way to start off our first date, but knowing us now, that's so typical for our relationship.
Never a dull moment.
After dinner, we drove over to the theater to see what was playing. Nothing caught our eye, so what did we do next?
We went to The Christmas Tree Shoppe.
It. Was. Awesome.
We walked around the whole store, joking about how you can find almost anything you need at that random place.
Decorations? They got it. Detergent? You bet. An outdoor hammock? It's there. It's just the most random place ever. And we were having so much fun making fun of that fact.
Once we left there, we went back to his house to watch P.S. I Love You and Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows: Part II.
Both picked by him. Both made me super happy.
I don't think Chris drove me home until after 1:00am. Even then, I didn't want to go home. I didn't want to leave him. I knew that's where I needed to be, that's where I was meant to be.
With him.
Before 2011, November 4th didn't mean much. It was just another day, like the majority of the days I lived through. Nothing special.
Today, November 4th is the day that changed my life.
Twice.
Exactly a year after our first date, Chris drove us over to the Lady Antebellum Theater to exchange gifts.
I gave him a couple of shirts.
He gave me a ring.
My life was forever changed, once again, on November 4th.
To me, November 4th means just as much as August 17th. Of course, August 17th is my absolute favorite day of the year now since I became Mrs. Taryn Johns on that date. But August 17th would just be another day if it hadn't been for November 4th.
We have now been married 2 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days. This time two years ago, I was hoping this is where I would be: happily married to the man of my dreams and living the life I have desired for so long. I still catch myself looking at Chris in disbelief that this is my amazing life now. I get to wake up next to him every single morning and fall asleep next to him every single night, and I can't imagine my life any other way.
That woman I was two years ago today was struggling to find her place in the world, but was hoping Chris could help her discover it. The woman I am today is everything I would hope to be, and so much more.
I still can't believe it's been two years since our first date. It feels like it was twenty years ago; I just can't remember life without my husband anymore.
I feel like my life has re-started twice: First, when I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior. Second, when I knew Chris was my Knight in Shining Armor. It's just amazing to see The Lord's hand in absolutely everything, even the tiny details. If so many things had not fallen into place when it did, and if so many prayers I had prayed had been answered with a yes, I wouldn't be writing this blog about how much I love my Chris.
And November 4th would mean nothing.
So, to keep up with the giving thanks every day of November...
Day 4: I am thankful for first dates, for diamond rings, and for the man who gave me both, along with so very much more. I'm thankful for a God who knows exactly what He's doing and who graciously gave me a husband whom I get to fall even more in love with each and every day. I did nothing to deserve this life, but I am so thankful that The Lord is merciful and gave me Chris.
I could go on and on about how much I love my husband and how thankful I am for him, but I think this entry is long enough, and there's some General Tso's Chicken in the fridge that's calling my name.
Have I said before how much I love this time of year?! Yay for autumn and winter!
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
The Scariness of Offering Everything
This weekend was a fairly big weekend for the Johns house!
On Friday, I became a brunette with bangs. I LOVE it!! I told Chris I was getting my hair done, but he didn't want to see it until he got home. So, I did what he asked and carried on with my house chores until he walked in the door. By his reaction when he first saw it, I think he really likes it too :)
On Saturday, we bought a car. I LOVE my car!! It's a 2012 Hyundai Sonata, and it's amazing. We bought this car with the intention of it being our family car until we outgrow it, and it lasting us until it dies. It's spacious, it has the electronic dashboard and stereo, it has XM radio, and I have awesome cup holders.
Plus, it gets 25+ MPG. I heard the choir of angels singing the Hallelujah chorus when we read the little sheet of details attached to the window and noticed that.
Needless to say, it was an awesome weekend for us and it makes me super happy.
Chris and I are now 'officially' members of Warren Baptist. I put 'officially' in quotations because we still have to make sure our letters from our previous churches are transferred over, but we've taken all of the steps we were asked to, so I consider us being members now.
We went to the worship service Sunday, although I was really wanting to lay in bed all morning. Both of us did not get into bed until 2:00am, so knowing that my alarm was going to go off at 8:15am just was not sounding great. This girl likes her sleep, and 6 1/2 hours just wasn't enough. But, Chris had a friend meeting us at the service, so we really needed to go.
I'm so glad we did, too.
Our pastor has been taking us through the book of Romans throughout this entire year in a series titled, 'Hope Rising.' It's all based on the verse Romans 15:13 -
'May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.'
The past three weeks or so, we've been focusing on Romans 12. This chapter is stocked full of all kinds of amazing-yet-challenging lessons. In a nutshell, it tells us to live a life that is fully submitted and committed to God; we shouldn't live like our only concern is ourselves, our gifts did not come from anything we have done but only by the Grace given to us, and this isn't our world to find our own vengeance, but to leave vengeance to God.
Like I said, it's stuffed to the maximum of just pure awesomeness.
Once the sermon was finished, we started singing. I can't even tell you what song we were singing, and I'm not sure I can tell you a chorus or a verse from it, but I can tell you that I was distracted by a thought that overcame me from singing it.
It's really scary to tell God to have your all.
Growing up in church, hearing 'Give God your all' is nothing foreign. You are told this as early as preschool years, and it's told more in-depth as you mature throughout the ministry. It's one of the basics and basis of Christianity.
It's sung in so many worship songs. You don't become immune to it, but you get in the habit of singing it without truly thinking about it. I have been guilty of this for quite a few years now.
I was convicted of this Sunday morning.
One song we did sing Sunday that I do remember and know the words to is 'Hosanna.' It's sung by Hillsong United, and the bridge goes like this:
On Friday, I became a brunette with bangs. I LOVE it!! I told Chris I was getting my hair done, but he didn't want to see it until he got home. So, I did what he asked and carried on with my house chores until he walked in the door. By his reaction when he first saw it, I think he really likes it too :)
On Saturday, we bought a car. I LOVE my car!! It's a 2012 Hyundai Sonata, and it's amazing. We bought this car with the intention of it being our family car until we outgrow it, and it lasting us until it dies. It's spacious, it has the electronic dashboard and stereo, it has XM radio, and I have awesome cup holders.
Plus, it gets 25+ MPG. I heard the choir of angels singing the Hallelujah chorus when we read the little sheet of details attached to the window and noticed that.
Needless to say, it was an awesome weekend for us and it makes me super happy.
Chris and I are now 'officially' members of Warren Baptist. I put 'officially' in quotations because we still have to make sure our letters from our previous churches are transferred over, but we've taken all of the steps we were asked to, so I consider us being members now.
We went to the worship service Sunday, although I was really wanting to lay in bed all morning. Both of us did not get into bed until 2:00am, so knowing that my alarm was going to go off at 8:15am just was not sounding great. This girl likes her sleep, and 6 1/2 hours just wasn't enough. But, Chris had a friend meeting us at the service, so we really needed to go.
I'm so glad we did, too.
Our pastor has been taking us through the book of Romans throughout this entire year in a series titled, 'Hope Rising.' It's all based on the verse Romans 15:13 -
'May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.'
The past three weeks or so, we've been focusing on Romans 12. This chapter is stocked full of all kinds of amazing-yet-challenging lessons. In a nutshell, it tells us to live a life that is fully submitted and committed to God; we shouldn't live like our only concern is ourselves, our gifts did not come from anything we have done but only by the Grace given to us, and this isn't our world to find our own vengeance, but to leave vengeance to God.
Like I said, it's stuffed to the maximum of just pure awesomeness.
Once the sermon was finished, we started singing. I can't even tell you what song we were singing, and I'm not sure I can tell you a chorus or a verse from it, but I can tell you that I was distracted by a thought that overcame me from singing it.
It's really scary to tell God to have your all.
Growing up in church, hearing 'Give God your all' is nothing foreign. You are told this as early as preschool years, and it's told more in-depth as you mature throughout the ministry. It's one of the basics and basis of Christianity.
It's sung in so many worship songs. You don't become immune to it, but you get in the habit of singing it without truly thinking about it. I have been guilty of this for quite a few years now.
I was convicted of this Sunday morning.
One song we did sing Sunday that I do remember and know the words to is 'Hosanna.' It's sung by Hillsong United, and the bridge goes like this:
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks yours
Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks yours
Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity
The first four lines are pretty easy to sing. My heart needs to be healed, my eyes need to be opened, and I need to be shown how to love the un-loveable (after all, I was un-loveable when Christ called me to become His beloved). I want my heart to break for what the world doesn't care about, what the world has thrown aside.
It isn't hard to desire these things.
But that fifth line. The one that's just mixed in with the rest and kind of goes under the radar; unnoticed and rarely thought through. I stopped to think about it this time.
Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause.
Not just part of me. Not just what will keep me safe. Not just what I feel like I can give.
Everything.
This includes my time, my energy, my thoughts, my actions.
My family.
My husband.
My life.
Everything.
Singing this line to the Lord is saying, 'I am willing to let You do whatever Your will is to advance Your kingdom. If it calls for my time, energy, thoughts and actions, I'm right there. If you need my family, I'll give it. If you want my husband, I'll let go. If you desire me, I'm Yours.'
This doesn't give the assurance that it won't cost us greatly. It may only cost some time out of the country, or money that we may need to pay a bill or two, or the inconvenience of changing our plans to something totally different (if you've read my previous entry, you know that giving up my ability to plan is really hard for me!).
But it may call for more.
It may call my family to go where we're not guaranteed to be protected. It may call for my husband to be away from me. It may call me to die.
The Lord doesn't say He will tell us what He will use us for, He just says it will advance His kingdom.
That is the most terrifying thought to me.
It's not that I don't trust the Lord! Not at all. It's the commitment of saying, 'Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause.' It's an all-or-nothing deal for Him.
God could call us to pack up and move across the world to an unknown land full of strangers, and ask us to be missionaries to those who hate Christ. He could call us to do this after we've started a family, so we would have to take our children into this new life too. He may call us to stay home, but to use something such as an illness or a tragedy to advance His cause. He could use the death of myself or someone I love to spread His message.
You don't know how you will be used in His kingdom's cause when you tell God that everything you are is available to His will.
That's terrifying to me. Absolutely terrifying.
It's not so hard to offer up myself to this unknown plan, but throwing the uncertainty of how the Lord will use my family, my husband, my future children...it scares me to my core.
While they were playing the song that I cannot recall the name to at worship service, I started tearing up. I played it off as if my eyes were watering, but they were true tears. It dawned on me that I cannot sing the words that declare my life, EVERYTHING I am, to be the Lord's and at His mercy to use unless I am willing to be 100% committed to it. Am I able to stand before you and say that I have given the Lord everything I am for His kingdom's cause? Not entirely.
Being honest here!
I can't tell you that I have given God everything. I'm scared of what that will bring.
I don't feel this is entirely a trust thing for me. I trust that the Lord will do His will and it is perfect beyond measure. I trust that, whatever He has planned for me, He will see through and provide. I just don't want to have to trust Him in a way that's required when tragedy strikes, or when you're sent to a foreign land with no one to help, or when you're faced with an illness that could claim a life.
I don't want to have to exercise my faith and trust beyond what I can imagine.
That's what terrifies me the most.
After we left church, we went about our lives as usual. Lunch, chores, meeting up with my mom and sister for a little bit; the usual. I kind of blocked this revelation I had at church out for a little while; out-of-sight, out-of-mind deal. I didn't want to think about it, because I knew the choice I needed to make. I knew I needed to sing those words, declaring to the Lord that everything I am and have is His and He can use however he sees fit. I just didn't want to make it.
After blocking it out for the past couple of days, I feel like I am finally ready to seriously pray about this fear being lifted and my faith being strengthened. I still hope the Lord does not call me to test my trust and faith far beyond my comfort zone, but I am wanting to have the peace that, if He does, He is faithful and more than worthy of my trust. Besides, there's a reason my favorite verse is John 16:33:
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Life is and will be, no matter what, wonderful. Not because of anything I have said or will say, done or will do; my life is and will be wonderful because the Lord is greater than my greatest fear, and He is worthy to be praised.
Definitely not saying there won't be a time where I struggle and lose my sight on what is Perfect. But I can say that I am never abandoned. I am never out of His sight. I am forever His and He is forever mine.
After I got through my mental block on this situation and struggle of mine, I started feeling a little more at-peace. I am now able to look past the 'bad stuff' that can happen and start looking at the good that comes from giving everything over to the Lord. I've been recalling the mission trips I took to Brazil back in high school and the absolute joy I received from it, and it's got my wheels a-spinnin'...
Chris and I have talked about how we would like to do a short-term mission trip together. I think it may be time to start putting a little more action to that talk, especially since we're at a time in our lives where we can go without many limitations or distractions.
I feel like this past weekend was huge change for us. Although most of the change was for me, I think it's definitely affected us as a couple. To me, it's felt like that I finally stepped out of that young-bride, still-adjusting-to-my-new-life role into my wife role. I don't feel like the young adult I was just a few months ago, and I definitely don't look like her either. I have officially transformed into Mrs. Taryn Johns.
And I absolutely love it!
Friday, October 4, 2013
Dating My Husband
Chris and I have known each other for exactly two years this weekend.
So crazy to think about all that has happened in two years: first date, first kiss, first time saying 'I love you,' four birthdays, so many holidays, Chris graduating college, family vacation, getting engaged, planning a wedding, getting married, and now living together as husband and wife.
I never knew any of that was going to happen between Chris and I when we first met. In fact, I thought there was a possibility it would happen with another guy whom I was interested in at the time.
I am so thankful it didn't work out the way I thought it was going to!
Although we had only known each other for a short period of time, we became very comfortable with each other soon after we became official. I think it was because we both knew that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together after the very first date.
During the first five months of our relationship, Chris lived in Athens while getting his Computer Science degree at The University of Georgia. I only saw him on the weekends he came home and during holidays. I can honestly say that was probably one of the hardest times in our relationship, at least on my end. I kind of think it left me a little scarred too, because I hate the thought of Chris going somewhere or being somewhere without me for over 12 hours. It makes me cry.
Yes, I did cry like a baby when Chris left for his bachelor weekend. I am not ashamed to admit that.
When Chris finally graduated and came home for good, we definitely had some date nights. But, eventually, we got used to us being together all of the time and our nights started to consist of take-out and Big Bang Theory. Every now and then we would have a nice, planned date night that we would get dressed up for. But as the months went on, they became fewer and farther between.
Now that we're finally married and get to share a house together, plus each of us working full-time jobs, we're not sure what dates are anymore. If it doesn't consist of a sporting event and/or a couch, we usually don't participate. It's not that we don't want to, it just takes effort that we don't want to put forth after a long day/week.
Being tired and wanting to stay home is no excuse to not date your spouse. Just because the rings are the fingers, doesn't mean that the pursuit of one another is over. In fact, I feel that you need to pursue harder and stronger than ever.
Marriage brings so many challenges without adding the complacency we get with each other. When we add the chores of a house, the finances, the bills, the two busy schedules and sharing one bed into the relationship, life becomes a lot more complicated than it did when we were dating. No longer are we worried about where we're going for dinner, but now it's the wonder if we can afford going to dinner without skimping somewhere else in the budget. And then it's if we want to put the effort into getting ready to go out to eat.
I miss my husband when we become like this. I miss him a lot. Even though we are together every night and every weekend, being in the same room as him is not the same as having the intimate husband-wife moments we need. I'm not talking about bedroom intimacy! Although I feel that is definitely a necessity for a great marriage. But I'm talking about intimate conversations without distractions and having intimate dates without loud, drunk people screaming at the 60 television screens located all over the restaurant. Even playing some putt-putt or bowling! Anything that gives you moments to bond and to grow closer together without large interruptions. Chris and I don't do this enough, and it begins to show in our marriage. And we've only been married for a month and a half! I can't imagine if we continued this pattern for months, even years, before having intimate marriage moments.
So, last month, I proposed that we each take 1 day/night every other month to plan out a date for us. I will take all of the even months, Chris will take all of the odds (that way he has my birthday and I have his). When it is our month, we have to plan the ENTIRE date and cannot ask the other for input. It can be absolutely whatever, doesn't have to cost a lot or any money at all, but has to be planned (we're awful about winging our dates - not anymore!). This doesn't mean we only have one date a month, but this way we know that if our schedules get too busy, we will have at least one day/night where it's time we can spend 'intimately' with each other.
This month is my month, and I am SO excited! I've already told Chris to not plan anything for the 18th, and I've already got some ideas stirring up in my head. I can't spill any of the details on here, since my husband reads this sometimes :) But I can say that I am going all out on this one since I haven't planned a date for us in quite some time.
So what was the point of this entry, besides telling you about our life story?
Date your husband/wife, even if you've been together for twenty years. Remember why you fell in love in the first place, and celebrate that together without major distractions. Do it often. It's worth it. I know I don't come from a background of a lot of personal experience, but I've watched so man couple over my lifetime. I can tell which ones are still in pursuit of each other, and the ones who have become content and complacent with just living with a roommate.
If you need help finding some ideas on what to do for date night, I highly recommend Pinterest, especially following The Dating Divas. They have so many awesome ideas, many are budget-friendly, and all are geared towards having those intimate times with your spouse! There's even some help for the guys out there, too :)
I'm getting super excited just thinking about our date! I think I need to go shopping for a new outfit for it...
Yep, I think this is a great excuse for a new outfit. Don't you think?
So crazy to think about all that has happened in two years: first date, first kiss, first time saying 'I love you,' four birthdays, so many holidays, Chris graduating college, family vacation, getting engaged, planning a wedding, getting married, and now living together as husband and wife.
I never knew any of that was going to happen between Chris and I when we first met. In fact, I thought there was a possibility it would happen with another guy whom I was interested in at the time.
I am so thankful it didn't work out the way I thought it was going to!
Although we had only known each other for a short period of time, we became very comfortable with each other soon after we became official. I think it was because we both knew that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together after the very first date.
During the first five months of our relationship, Chris lived in Athens while getting his Computer Science degree at The University of Georgia. I only saw him on the weekends he came home and during holidays. I can honestly say that was probably one of the hardest times in our relationship, at least on my end. I kind of think it left me a little scarred too, because I hate the thought of Chris going somewhere or being somewhere without me for over 12 hours. It makes me cry.
Yes, I did cry like a baby when Chris left for his bachelor weekend. I am not ashamed to admit that.
When Chris finally graduated and came home for good, we definitely had some date nights. But, eventually, we got used to us being together all of the time and our nights started to consist of take-out and Big Bang Theory. Every now and then we would have a nice, planned date night that we would get dressed up for. But as the months went on, they became fewer and farther between.
Now that we're finally married and get to share a house together, plus each of us working full-time jobs, we're not sure what dates are anymore. If it doesn't consist of a sporting event and/or a couch, we usually don't participate. It's not that we don't want to, it just takes effort that we don't want to put forth after a long day/week.
Being tired and wanting to stay home is no excuse to not date your spouse. Just because the rings are the fingers, doesn't mean that the pursuit of one another is over. In fact, I feel that you need to pursue harder and stronger than ever.
Marriage brings so many challenges without adding the complacency we get with each other. When we add the chores of a house, the finances, the bills, the two busy schedules and sharing one bed into the relationship, life becomes a lot more complicated than it did when we were dating. No longer are we worried about where we're going for dinner, but now it's the wonder if we can afford going to dinner without skimping somewhere else in the budget. And then it's if we want to put the effort into getting ready to go out to eat.
I miss my husband when we become like this. I miss him a lot. Even though we are together every night and every weekend, being in the same room as him is not the same as having the intimate husband-wife moments we need. I'm not talking about bedroom intimacy! Although I feel that is definitely a necessity for a great marriage. But I'm talking about intimate conversations without distractions and having intimate dates without loud, drunk people screaming at the 60 television screens located all over the restaurant. Even playing some putt-putt or bowling! Anything that gives you moments to bond and to grow closer together without large interruptions. Chris and I don't do this enough, and it begins to show in our marriage. And we've only been married for a month and a half! I can't imagine if we continued this pattern for months, even years, before having intimate marriage moments.
So, last month, I proposed that we each take 1 day/night every other month to plan out a date for us. I will take all of the even months, Chris will take all of the odds (that way he has my birthday and I have his). When it is our month, we have to plan the ENTIRE date and cannot ask the other for input. It can be absolutely whatever, doesn't have to cost a lot or any money at all, but has to be planned (we're awful about winging our dates - not anymore!). This doesn't mean we only have one date a month, but this way we know that if our schedules get too busy, we will have at least one day/night where it's time we can spend 'intimately' with each other.
This month is my month, and I am SO excited! I've already told Chris to not plan anything for the 18th, and I've already got some ideas stirring up in my head. I can't spill any of the details on here, since my husband reads this sometimes :) But I can say that I am going all out on this one since I haven't planned a date for us in quite some time.
So what was the point of this entry, besides telling you about our life story?
Date your husband/wife, even if you've been together for twenty years. Remember why you fell in love in the first place, and celebrate that together without major distractions. Do it often. It's worth it. I know I don't come from a background of a lot of personal experience, but I've watched so man couple over my lifetime. I can tell which ones are still in pursuit of each other, and the ones who have become content and complacent with just living with a roommate.
If you need help finding some ideas on what to do for date night, I highly recommend Pinterest, especially following The Dating Divas. They have so many awesome ideas, many are budget-friendly, and all are geared towards having those intimate times with your spouse! There's even some help for the guys out there, too :)
I'm getting super excited just thinking about our date! I think I need to go shopping for a new outfit for it...
Yep, I think this is a great excuse for a new outfit. Don't you think?
Thursday, September 26, 2013
5 Love Languages
| The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman |
But seriously, go get it today. Right now, if you can. It's that good.
Before Chris and I got married, I had heard so many wonderful things about The 5 Love Languages and how it can transform your relationship/marriage with your partner. Me, being the 'I don't want to be left out' kind of girl, I went to our local Lifeway Christian Bookstore and bought a copy. I decided to read it before Chris, and it was something that I had a hard time putting down. It's amazing how well Gary Chapman captures each love language and describes it in a way that you understand and say to yourself, 'that's why I/Chris have/has been acting that way!'
If you are not familiar with the book, Chapman takes 5 ways of showing love that we all desire:
1.) Words of Affirmation
2.) Acts of Service
3.) Receiving Gifts
4.) Quality Time
5.) Physical Touch
He describes what each love language means and examples of why this action shows us strong love. At the end of the book, you take a short quiz to see which love language appeals to you more and places them in order from strongest to weakest.
He also talks about a 'love bank' that we all have, in which every action either deposits or withdrawals love.
After Chris and I both read it, we shared our love languages with each other. Mine were Quality Time first, Physical Touch second. Chris's were Physical Touch, then Quality Time.
I felt like we were pretty spot-on with that outcome. I knew mine would be quality time, and I was 99.9% sure Chris's would be physical touch.
It's been about 4 months or so since we've read it, and I feel that my love language has changed a bit. Especially since I'm finally settling into the wife role.
As you can tell from the name of my blog, I am a wife, a nanny, and a dance teacher. It's a fairly full plate.
I don't handle full plates very well. At all. Just ask my poor husband, who gets to hear how I don't handle full plates well on a regular basis.
It's not the I don't love what I do! I absolutely love being a nanny and being a dance teacher, and I have been preparing myself to be a wife since I was in middle school. But adding the three together and then throwing in a dirty house just isn't always the greatest combination. At least for me, it's not.
I have found that quality time with Chris is definitely the greatest way I feel love. Last night, we grabbed some Wing Stop, sat in our living room with the TV off, and enjoyed a meal together without hearing Big Bang Theory in the background. And, of course, I love holding his hand and cuddling with him. If you're married, I'm sure you know other ways we use physical touch to show love, but I have kids that read this blog, so we'll just leave it at that.
But lately, the other three love languages have been creeping up and screaming, 'we need to be shown love too!'
The big one is Acts of Service. It has appeared like a huge defensive lineman trying to make his presence known by sacking me, and then burying me into the ground.
Okay. So maybe that was a stupid analogy. But you get the point.
Our largest fight as husband and wife came because of this language. I don't even know why I started feeling this way all of a sudden, but it made it's point that it was not going anywhere until it was met.
So what's the point of telling this long and drawn-out story? I'm getting to it, I promise.
Although The 5 Love Languages book makes one very aware of the different ways love should be met and the two that need to be met more than the others, you can't deny the ones that came in 3rd, 4th, and 5th, or they will remind you that they have been neglected for far too long.
Why should you read this book? If you're married or in a relationship, it is an eye-opener on how to love your spouse/partner even better and in ways that they desire. If you're single, it reveals how you will feel love the strongest and to become aware of how to love others. Not only can you apply this to romantic relationships, but it also works with relationships with loved ones and even friends.
To sum it up, it helps you to love others better and stronger, while understanding what fills up your 'love bank.'
Chris and I talked about it last night, and we decided that vacuuming the house and doing the dishes were no longer on my list of things to do, that he will be taking those things over until I am able to become a homemaker. It's amazing how giving up vacuuming and dishes lifted so much stress off of my shoulders, and made me fall even more in love with my husband.
Did I mention that Chris also gave me money to go shopping?
Yep, my love bank is quite full. Now time to plan on how to return the favor... ;)
Thursday, September 19, 2013
A Piece of Advice
I thought you'd might be interested to know that I got McDonald's yesterday! Unfortunately, I had taken out some ground beef because I had intended to cook last night (Hamburger Helper is staple in our pantry), and I forgot to put it back in to the fridge before we went to bed. I woke up at 5:30 this morning with a slight panic, because I had just realized what I had done, but it was too late.
Still not sure how I remembered at 5:30am while dead asleep.
Needless to say, the ground beef is now in the trash can. It is very sad, because ground beef is a precious thing in our house since we use it so much, but we must move on.
So I guess we will be eating chicken tonight. Unless my husband decides to take me out... ;)
*****************************************************************
Chris and I volunteer at a local church in the children's ministry. I used to work there last year (which is the hardest but the most rewarding job I have ever had!), but I have been involved as a volunteer for quite a few years now. I'm so excited that this Sunday we will officially join and call it our church home, especially since we have been in this 'church-limbo' for so long. Floating between churches, even if they we either mine or his childhood church, just didn't feel like our own. Finally, we have 'our' church. I'm just beyond excited about this!!
Chris helps with the tech part of the Wednesday night program and I help with the worship. I love getting there early so I can have some time to talk to this amazing group of women that are so real and so encouraging, you just can't help but want to be around them. At least I can't.
One of the women, whom Chris and I are close to her and her family, told me one of the best pieces of advice, which I have heard before, but she just put it into a whole different perspective.
'Don't talk bad about your husband to anyone, no matter what. While you will wake up the next day and may forget that anything was wrong, the person you gossiped to about your husband will not forget so easily and may change their opinion about him.'
Wow. Just... Wow.
I have heard this advice before in other books and different blogs, but I have never heard it like this. I know you want to take opportunities to build your husband up, whether or not he hears it. But to think that what you say could stain his reputation to someone? That's very strong and so convicting.
Now I'm not saying I go and gossip about my husband and de-grade him to anyone by any means! I love my husband very much and couldn't imagine life without him by my side. But he's not perfect. I'm not perfect. And when things are not perfect, we like to share with others why they are not perfect.
I admit, I may have vented a little about how hard it is to understand Chris and the way he thinks. And I may have shared that we have had a couple of fights recently. There's a possibility that I have stated that I just don't always know what to do to help him understand the way I feel as well. But I'm a woman, that's what I do!
But not anymore. Well, I'm going to try to not do it anymore.
I am all for confiding in someone who knows you and your spouse very well about your hardships and seeking wisdom and advice, but just venting about it to whoever will listen is gossip and it's destructive. My husband is too valuable to me to do that. He means too much to me to risk his respect just for me to get my feelings out.
After this piece of advice was given to me, I started re-evaluating my relationship with Chris. I cannot promise you that, even after my revelation, I have been the wife my husband needs and desires, but I have become aware of the wife I need to, no, have to be for Chris, and there is no longer an excuse for being anything less.
Although we've only been married for a little over a month, I feel like I have already grown as a wife. I definitely do not claim to have this 'wifey' thing under control (I did let an entire pound of meat spoil and go to waste), but I do understand what being a Godly, respectable, supporting wife looks like, and I hope and pray that I can be a beacon of that to all I come in contact with.
This is one of my favorite picture of my husband and I (taken by our sweet friend, Meg). I feel like the way I am looking at Chris in this picture is the way I always have: out of absolute love and adornment. But let's be honest, it isn't always shown on the exterior of me. I don't want anyone to ever think that they way I looked at Chris here is not the way I look at him now, and giving them a reason to assume that is devastating to me. I never want to tarnish this moment with the stain of disrespect for my husband, and from this day forward, I will do my best to love my husband beyond the frustrations and imperfections. I will respect my husband enough to not give someone a reason to change their opinion of him
Isn't he just so darn good looking in this picture? I am such a lucky girl, and I sure do love him so!!
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