Dating My Husband

Chris and I have known each other for exactly two years this weekend.

So crazy to think about all that has happened in two years: first date, first kiss, first time saying 'I love you,' four birthdays, so many holidays, Chris graduating college, family vacation, getting engaged, planning a wedding, getting married, and now living together as husband and wife.

I never knew any of that was going to happen between Chris and I when we first met. In fact, I thought there was a possibility it would happen with another guy whom I was interested in at the time.

I am so thankful it didn't work out the way I thought it was going to!

Although we had only known each other for a short period of time, we became very comfortable with each other soon after we became official. I think it was because we both knew that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together after the very first date.

During the first five months of our relationship, Chris lived in Athens while getting his Computer Science degree at The University of Georgia. I only saw him on the weekends he came home and during holidays. I can honestly say that was probably one of the hardest times in our relationship, at least on my end. I kind of think it left me a little scarred too, because I hate the thought of Chris going somewhere or being somewhere without me for over 12 hours. It makes me cry.

Yes, I did cry like a baby when Chris left for his bachelor weekend. I am not ashamed to admit that.

When Chris finally graduated and came home for good, we definitely had some date nights. But, eventually, we got used to us being together all of the time and our nights started to consist of take-out and Big Bang Theory. Every now and then we would have a nice, planned date night that we would get dressed up for. But as the months went on, they became fewer and farther between.

Now that we're finally married and get to share a house together, plus each of us working full-time jobs, we're not sure what dates are anymore. If it doesn't consist of a sporting event and/or a couch, we usually don't participate. It's not that we don't want to, it just takes effort that we don't want to put forth after a long day/week.

Being tired and wanting to stay home is no excuse to not date your spouse. Just because the rings are the fingers, doesn't mean that the pursuit of one another is over. In fact, I feel that you need to pursue harder and stronger than ever.

Marriage brings so many challenges without adding the complacency we get with each other. When we add the chores of a house, the finances, the bills, the two busy schedules and sharing one bed into the relationship, life becomes a lot more complicated than it did when we were dating. No longer are we worried about where we're going for dinner, but now it's the wonder if we can afford going to dinner without skimping somewhere else in the budget. And then it's if we want to put the effort into getting ready to go out to eat.

I miss my husband when we become like this. I miss him a lot. Even though we are together every night and every weekend, being in the same room as him is not the same as having the intimate husband-wife moments we need. I'm not talking about bedroom intimacy! Although I feel that is definitely a necessity for a great marriage. But I'm talking about intimate conversations without distractions and having intimate dates without loud, drunk people screaming at the 60 television screens located all over the restaurant. Even playing some putt-putt or bowling! Anything that gives you moments to bond and to grow closer together without large interruptions. Chris and I don't do this enough, and it begins to show in our marriage. And we've only been married for a month and a half! I can't imagine if we continued this pattern for months, even years, before having intimate marriage moments.

So, last month, I proposed that we each take 1 day/night every other month to plan out a date for us. I will take all of the even months, Chris will take all of the odds (that way he has my birthday and I have his). When it is our month, we have to plan the ENTIRE date and cannot ask the other for input. It can be absolutely whatever, doesn't have to cost a lot or any money at all, but has to be planned (we're awful about winging our dates - not anymore!). This doesn't mean we only have one date a month, but this way we know that if our schedules get too busy, we will have at least one day/night where it's time we can spend 'intimately' with each other.

This month is my month, and I am SO excited! I've already told Chris to not plan anything for the 18th, and I've already got some ideas stirring up in my head. I can't spill any of the details on here, since my husband reads this sometimes :)  But I can say that I am going all out on this one since I haven't planned a date for us in quite some time.

So what was the point of this entry, besides telling you about our life story?

Date your husband/wife, even if you've been together for twenty years. Remember why you fell in love in the first place, and celebrate that together without major distractions. Do it often. It's worth it. I know I don't come from a background of a lot of personal experience, but I've watched so man couple over my lifetime. I can tell which ones are still in pursuit of each other, and the ones who have become content and complacent with just living with a roommate.

If you need help finding some ideas on what to do for date night, I highly recommend Pinterest, especially following The Dating Divas. They have so many awesome ideas, many are budget-friendly, and all are geared towards having those intimate times with your spouse! There's even some help for the guys out there, too :)

I'm getting super excited just thinking about our date! I think I need to go shopping for a new outfit for it...

Yep, I think this is a great excuse for a new outfit. Don't you think?