The Christmas Lists of Old (and New)

Are we seriously 9 days away from Christmas?!

Why does this time of year have to go by so fast?

Every year, I tell myself I'm going to slow down, enjoy more cups of hot chocolate, watch a few more Christmas movies, and just enjoy everything that Christmastime brings.

Every year.

And every year, I look back and regret that I didn't do it. I didn't slow down, I have a box of hot chocolate still in the pantry, some movies are still in the original wrapper, and Christmas is gone for another 365 days.

It's just so sad!

So, I have 9 days to make the most of this 2013 Christmas season. And, believe me, I WILL make the most of it!

Get ready Chris, we're about to go Christmas-crazy this week.

*******

I have been asked quite a few times what I would like for Christmas by my family.

I feel like this was such an easy question when I was a kid. All I had to do was look through the JC Penney's Christmas catalogue, the Toys 'R' Us wish book, and watch a ton of TV to see what the new toys were. Toys 'R' Us even included little stickers I could place on what I wanted!

Toy retailers sure knew how to hypnotize and convince us children to NEED these cool toys. Not want, NEED.

Everywhere you looked, there was a Nintendo GameBoy or a Furby being shoved in your face. You couldn't help but feel like you weren't cool if you didn't have what they were advertising.

And our poor parents, who had to endure long waiting lists and Black Fridays, just to get that stupid toy we played with on Christmas morning, then put it in our play room to rot away.

Don't lie, you played with the 'got-to-have-it' toy for an hour or two, then completely forgot about it. We are all guilty of it.

I remember I wanted a Barbie doll that had a purple stand for selling your cute little bubble gum creations. You used large bubble gum pieces, pressed them in a mold, stuck a stick in it, and voila, you have a little terrier-looking dog bubble gum pop that you could place in the stand for all to see.

I didn't know this little fact of using already-made bubble gum. I thought you made the bubble gum, too.

I was, like, 5. I was naïve. Don't judge me.

But I HAD to have this toy! My Christmas would not have been complete if Santa did not put this Barbie out for me to see when I walked in our living room Christmas morning. I would have been heartbroken if Santa forgot it.

Santa definitely didn't forget!

I can still picture exactly where it was at when I walked in. That's probably because I've watched the home video of it several times, but that doesn't matter. It was to the right of our entertainment center, all set up and looking absolutely wonderful.

Then I noticed the pre-packaged gum.

What the heck?

At that moment, I realized this beautiful bubble gum stand was just that: a stand. It didn't make the delicious gum. The Bubblicious and Bubble Yum factory did.

If that wasn't crushing enough, the awesome molds that were used to make the amazing shapes were pieces of .... poo. They barely worked. The little terrier dog came out looking like a blob.

Talk about not living up to the commercials of the perfect bubble gum pops!

I think I played with it until I ran out of bubble gum, and then to the play room closet it went, never to be played with again.

I'm sure my parents can tell you of PLENTY more times that this happened, but this is the only one I can remember so vividly. Probably because it was such a disappointment.

Why must they make the commercials look so awesome, yet the actual toy is so not-good?

I finally left the toy catalogues to my sisters and moved on to CDs, movies, and clothes. They usually didn't let me down like the toys did. Although, there we a couple of CDs that ended up in a drawer or on our kitchen desk after I listened to it one time through.

This year, though, my Christmas list has changed quite a bit.

It's non-existent.

Up until last night, I really had no clue what I wanted! I mentioned a thing or two to my husband and my mom, but I honestly could not come up with what I wanted.

Then it hit me.

A trash can!

I want a nice trash can.

Got to love being an adult, huh?

We have a plastic one that we bought when I moved into our house back in June. It serves its purpose, but just isn't cutting it anymore. So, I text my mom last night and told her that's what I want!

I also want kitchen stuff. Cook books, cooking utensils, towels, whatever I can use to make my life easier while I'm whipping up some food.

I never understood why my mom would get so excited about things like a Dust Buster or a bunch of Pyrex dishes.

I get it now.

It's funny to think back on the toys that I had to have, or else my Christmas was ruined, and now to look at what I really do have to have to make dinner happen every night!

Oh, how I wish I enjoyed my childhood Christmases just a little more.

I'm glad I finally thought of something to tell my mom that I really could use, not something that's going to end up in storage somewhere. The luxury of putting Christmas gifts in a closet or in a play room just isn't there anymore.

******

It's crazy to think back on all of the Christmases I've had (24, to be exact) and how much my viewpoint on December 25th has changed. It's no longer about what Santa has left under the tree, but the time spent with my loved ones and enjoying each other's company.

I'm really excited about waking up for the first time in our own home with my love on Christmas Day. Since Santa will not be visiting our house this year, we will be able to take our time getting up, open some gifts, eat some breakfast, and spend sweet time together before the crazy-awesome day gets started.

I still can't believe it's only 9 days away, though.

I better get on the ball and wrap up the gifts! I want to be able to enjoy looking at them under our tree before they're ripped open :)

To Santa, or Not to Santa. That is the Question...

I just want to start off by saying I made one of the best dinners I have ever made in my entire life.

AND it was healthy.

Score!

I made salmon with a Dijon glaze, honey-glazed carrots, and brown rice. It was absolutely delicious and super easy to make. It only took about 45 minutes to get it all on the plate, and that's including putting two things in the oven at separate times. I was stoked!

 

It's not exactly a Martha Stewart Magazine-worthy photo, but I'm telling you, the recipes are worth being on the cover. It's that delicious.

 

Here's the recipes for Salmon with Dijon Glaze and the Honey-Glazed Carrots. I just used a Success Boil-in-the-Bag brown rice and didn't add absolutely anything to it.

 

So good.

 

Anyways, on to the next topic.

 

I've seen a few posts on Facebook about a blog entry entitled, 'Why the Haefs don't "Do" Santa.'

 

I have to be honest and tell you that it took me a little while to realize that 'Haefs' was actually a last name, not a group of people. I felt pretty dumb once I came to my senses. I guess changing your hair color doesn't help with the little moments of blonde-ness.

 

I decided to give it a look, just kind of curious as to what their reasoning's were behind not including Santa in their Christmas morning.

 

If you would like to check out the article before you read my thoughts on it, you can find it here.

 

If you don't really care to read it, here's a small summary of it:

 

They Haefs have chosen not to include Santa into their Christmas traditions because they feel it takes away from the real reason Christians celebrate Christmas. They see that Santa is like a 'distraction' from the love and grace of God that is to be celebrated, and they want their children to understand what December 25th is really about. They conclude that Christmas isn't about making a 'Naughty or Nice' list, but is about understand God's love and grace that was shown when He sent His Son. They don't shelter their children from Santa or any other Christmas traditions (Christmas tree, Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, etc.), they just don't allow their children to believe Santa rides a sleigh and travels down the chimney to leave presents on Christmas Day.

 

I really encourage you to read the article if you haven't, though. It brings some really interesting thoughts that I wasn't able to include in my summary, and really explains why they chose this.

 

Being the usually-silent-but-opinionated-person that I am, I'm going to share what I think!

 

Growing up, we believed in Santa. We sat out the cookies, wrote the letter, lost sleep while trying to hear the hoofs of reindeer walking across the roof, and finally walked into the living room to see what Santa left behind. We also knew the real reason we celebrated Christmas, which was the birth of Jesus. I don't feel that we put too much emphasis on Santa, and we didn't feel like it was a lie that our parents told us that led to us questioning anything else my parents told us. It was just a part of Christmas. Even up until this Christmas, my parents sat out gifts from Santa, and we all have long stopped believing. We didn't think it was a super-big deal when we realized our parents were the ones buying our gifts, at least I can't remember either one of my three sisters being upset over it.

 

I always figured I would carry on the same traditions with my family, but probably include the cute little 'Elf on the Shelf' as well, just so I can be the creatively-cool mom and figure out cute little set-ups our elf could get into.

 

After reading this article, though, several points the author made has brought quite a few things about Christmas to my attention.

 

Of course, Chris and I's main intention of every Christmas will be to celebrate the birth of Christ and what that brought to out lost world. Because of our faith, we believe there is no point in celebrating Christmas without Christ. We want our kids to understand that it's not about the presents, the tree, the lights nor the traditions, but about the greatest Gift of all, who came to die on a tree to bring Light into this dark world.

 

But what's the hurt in throwing the tradition of Santa in there, too?

 

This article really has me torn, and I don't even have kids yet! There's so much fun in the excitement of writing letters to Santa with all of our wishes, in the magic of believing there is a man named Santa who makes toys in the North Pole, that reindeer can fly, and that this guy eats all of the cookies and drinks all of the milk left in every home, yet can still go up and down the chimney without getting stuck. But it's so easy to get caught up in the magic of Santa and forget about the realness of the Messiah.

 

I don't want our Christmas to become about being 'naughty or nice' so Santa can bring presents instead of coal. I want our kids to understand that we give gifts because we were given the Greatest Gift of all. I want them to fully grasp exactly why December 25th is a special day for us to celebrate, and if Santa comes in between that understanding, then we may take the same approach as the Haefs.

 

But I also don't want to ruin Santa for other kids. I feel that if you teach your child that Santa is just another character like Mickey Mouse, they will then feel obligated to teach other children that Santa isn't real. That's not mine, nor my child's place to tell others that Santa doesn't exist if their parents choose to let their child believe. I remember trying to convince other kids Santa wasn't real when I found out he didn't exist, and I don't want my kids to do the same.

 

Being a parent during Christmastime is tough!

 

Of course, I will definitely talk to the hubby and get the OK from him before anything is set in stone. Good thing we have a while to figure this one out :)

 

I'm really glad I read this blog entry, even though it's given Chris and I one more thing to figure out when we talk about raising our little Johns babies. It brings up some seriously valid points, but doesn't show any judgment towards those who chose to 'do' Santa. It's so very well written, stuffed full of a lot of things to ponder on this Christmas (and every other Christmas) season.

 

It also makes me see just how serious and daunting of a task it is to raise kids in the world we live in today. Even if the world wasn't as scary as it is, raising kids is still some serious business! Even down to something such as Santa Claus, every little thing has to be address, understood, then taught to a child, who will then build the foundation for their own life from it.

 

It's quite frightening, yet so amazing.

 

I am very thankful that Chris and I have at least another three years before we have to worry about whether or not Santa will be 'believed' in or not in our house. And, more than likely, we will let our kids believe there is a Santa. But this article has definitely brought up many excellent points that I haven't always thought about. I will now, though!

 

It's exactly two weeks until Christmas, and I have a little more finished on my list of gifts to buy. Still a ways to go, though.

 

Christmas, would you please slow down? Just a little?

 

.......

 

Yeah, I figured you wouldn't. Oh well :)

Sickness Turned into Greatness

This week/weekend has definitely been one that I was not sad to see end. 

I normally don't become so sick that it seriously affects my ability to get things done, but this week, sickness kicked my butt.

Bad thing is, I believe it was the antibiotic I was taking for an infection that caused me to feel like I was on my death bed. I have taken quite a few medications over the course of my life, and NONE of them have EVER made me feel so much worse than the reason I was taking it for. 

It became so bad that I went to the local prompt care center yesterday afternoon to see if they could to tell me what the heck was going on.

Apparently, my extreme fatigue, upset stomach, nausea, no appetite at all, severe back pain and abdominal pain was because of the infection, not the antibiotic.

Yeah, don't fully believe that. Especially when the majority of the patient reviews I read online had the same exact complaints while taking this drug of death. Plus, they included that it didn't do much for the infection either, which was a complaint of mine as well.

Thank goodness, the doctor at prompt care gave me a new prescription, which seems to be much better. I still get tired fairly quickly, and my back/abdominal is still a little sore, but I can actually walk into the bathroom and brush my teeth without feeling like I need to take a two-hour long nap afterwards.

I am so very thankful for a sweet husband who took care of me all week long, though. I know I kept him up quite a few nights with my restlessness and constant visits to the bathroom, but he never complained. He waited on me hand and foot the past couple of days, and he even went and picked up McDonald's for dinner the other night because I had asked him to. I definitely could not have survived this awfulness without him!

Unfortunately, being in bed most of the weekend has led to absolutely nothing getting done. I was able to wash two loads of laundry and cook us dinner tonight, but that was pretty much it. I had to miss riding in the local Christmas parade, I missed viewing the pictures my sisters and I took back in August, I didn't get to work on my DIY decorations, the house didn't get cleaned, my list of Christmas presents didn't get any shorter, and we ate out wayyyy too much. 

It's amazing how everything gets so backed up when you're out for a weekend.

Anyways, I'm pretty much back to normal. So, on with life, once again!

It's really starting to scaring me how close Christmas is sneaking up on me. I'm beginning to give up on getting our house decorated like I was hoping to, but I don't exactly get to do that with gifts.

I have three gifts under the tree, and they are for my parents' pets.

They are labeled Hershey, Pepper, and Oliver.

But seriously, those are the only three presents under our tree.

I have gifts bought for three others on our list, but that is all. I don't even have a gift for my husband yet! and I only have *2* weeks left!

I'm starting to panic.

This is the first Christmas where I have had the sole responsibility to make sure presents are bought and wrapped, all the while reminding myself that these gifts are coming from my paycheck and it has a limit. 

Balancing presents for Christmas and limitations of my paycheck is not exactly one of my strong points. I can't help it, I get so much joy when I buy people gifts! Especially for Christmas.

Nevertheless, limits have to be set, and Christmas presents still have to be purchased.

Although I did not accomplish one single thing this weekend, I was able to enjoy something I don't always get to, and something I will one day wish I could have back.

Uninterrupted time with my love.

For the first time since our honeymoon, we didn't do one single thing 'planned.' Of course, there were quite a few things I was supposed to do this weekend, and I am sad that I missed them, but I got stay home with my man and enjoy the undivided attention we were able to give each other. I did not enjoy the fact that I felt like I was about to visit the Grim Reaper, but if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't have been able to enjoy a weekend without interruptions. 

Trying to find the small glimpse of great in a broad view of the worst sickness of my life. 

The moments of this weekend weren't a small glimpse of great, though. They were moments that will be very few and far between, but worth whatever was sacrificed to make.

In my case, it was my ability to function like a human being instead of a zombie.

Before I got married, I didn't fully appreciate weekends with nothing to do. But now that I'm a wife with the intentions of eventually becoming a mom, I have discovered the rarity and the preciousness of having nothing to do and getting nothing done for two days in a row. 

Not to mention getting to spend those two days of nothing-ness with the love of my life. That makes it a whole lot better too!

Thank goodness I am finally feeling well enough to function, so now to face another Monday. Even though I do not enjoy waking up to an alarm clock, getting up to see the sweet face of the little one I keep makes it better.

And it looks like we will be doing a lot of Christmas shopping together these coming up weeks. Hopefully the little guy is up for it!

Go Dawgs and Wreck Tech! (GameDay Recipes)

For anyone who is a college football fan, you know the importance of this week.

Some good ole fashion Hate Week.

If you're a Dawg fan, it's one of the best weeks of the season. Especially the past few years, it's been pure joy to watch this game take place either Between the Hedges or....wherever Tech plays.

Yep, this game decides who runs this state. 

We all know who REALLY runs this state, but we can at least make it official with this match-up. 

Normally, I'm in Commerce with my mom and sisters doing some Christmas shopping on this weekend. This year, though, I decided not to go. I'm not feeling super well, plus I haven't worked this week, which means I don't really have a ton of money to do the shopping I would like to. It would be way too dangerous for me to take our debit and credit cards to a place where the sales are crazy and they're all outlet stores. 

Just. Can't. Do it.

Since I decided to stay home, I thought I would try some new recipes for the game. While I was babysitting last night, I came up with a couple of new recipes on Pinterest and went shopping at 10:00pm to get all of my ingredients.

DISCLAIMER: I have not tried these recipes yet! I went to make one of them this morning, but I forgot to take the meat out of the fridge to finish thawing, so now we will be eating a Tombstone pizza and chips for lunch.

The first recipe I'm going to make is Game Day Sliders. It looks fairly simple, plus it'll make a bunch for us to snack on throughout the game. It'll just be the two of us at the house, but I thought this would be a nice change to either a casserole or getting fast food.

My husband is a little obsessed with spinach-artichoke dip, so I found this recipe that I thought might work well. We haven't been able to find a store-bought kind that tastes decent, so I'm going to venture out a little and give this a try. The recipe calls for jalapenos, but I think we may just leave those out. We're not a huge 'spicy' fan, so adding those will probably not go over really well. I'm also going to attempt to make some pita chips out of the pita bread that I bought (Buy 1, Get 1 Free at Kroger, by the way!).

I figured we needed something else to go along with the sliders, so I found a recipe for these potatoes that look simple yet yummy. It'll also cut down on the calorie intake a little, since the sliders are not exactly on the healthy side. I think I may use a ranch dressing packet with a little sea salt over the potatoes, but I feel like any kind of combination of spices will work great! Maybe even some garlic-parmesan ones...that sounds really good, too.

I think that's enough for one day, especially since it's only the two of us. But I still wanted to make a big deal about this game day, so I think these three recipes will do just fine. 

Plus, I didn't really eat dinner last night, so I will definitely be devouring as much as possible. 

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving, a safe Black Friday, and have a blast cheering on their football team during this Rivalry Week. I know we will be watching our Dawgs (hopefully) dominate the Yellow Jackets of Georgia Tech, while enjoying some game day food.

Gooooo Dawgs! Sic 'Em!

Creating Our Christmas

I'm still in a little bit of shock that this Thursday is Thanksgiving. 

Where did 2013 go??

The awesome thing about this Thanksgiving is that I have the entire week off. With the exception of babysitting for a couple of hours Friday night, I have absolutely nothing on my agenda except eat and decorate for Christmas. 

And clean. I need to do that, too.

As I have mentioned before, Chris and I had absolutely no Christmas decorations at the beginning of the month. I feel one of the perks of being a wife is getting the opportunity to collect and plan how you want your house to look for holidays, so I really wanted to start from scratch and buy/make as many of our decorations for Christmas as possible. 

I've kind of gotten a little obsessed with it.

Hobby Lobby has become my favorite place recently. I've made the wreath that will go on our front door, plus a couple of canvases that I'm going to hang up somewhere, and I want to do so much more.

I love any opportunity I get to indulge in my creative side, but I really don't like how expensive my indulging gets.

Even with many of my purchases being 30%-50% off, it still adds up when you're purchasing 10-12 items each time. 

I just can't help it though, I enjoy being crafty so stinkin' much! 

Bad thing is, once I do all of this, I then change my mind and not like what I've created, so I drop it and buy something already made. Every single time.

I'm a fairly confident nanny, a pretty confident dance teacher, and I'm becoming a confident wife.

I am not a confident artist/crafter.

I'm determined to like what I do and decorate our house with my creations this year, though. It's too much time and money spent to let it sit in our junk room.

Once I get everything made, I'll post pictures of it all. Maybe even take a few orders if, by chance, anyone wants something? Or I can find out if I need to stick to my day job.

I'm hoping to go on another Hobby Lobby run today. I've been fighting the urge since Friday, but I'm not sure I can fight it anymore.

And I need to clean our house so we have somewhere to put all of these decorations. That probably needs to happen before I bring more stuff in.

But, then again, this bed is mighty comfy...maybe I'll just stay in it until Chris gets home.

Yep, that sounds like a good plan.

Enjoying Life Now

As I sit here in our little dining room, with a cup of maple vanilla cappuccino and cinnamon rolls in the oven, I am reminded of something:

Just how much I love my life at this very stage it is in.

I think some women, including myself at times, rush through this moment of life. We have the husband, now it's time for babies. 


Or at least a puppy.

I'm definitely guilty of this! As much as I enjoy being with my husband and it only being the two of us, I often wonder and think ahead to our lives in the future. Not always with a baby, but sometimes just with a puppy.

As simple as getting a puppy is, it's so complex once you bring him/her home. You can't just pack up and leave whenever you feel like it; you have to make some kind of arrangements for the dog, or you take it with you.

Our home has a small fenced-in back yard, but it desperately needs to be cleared of dead weeds. Having an outside dog just isn't an option yet, we would have to get something that can live in our house with us. And you can't leave an unattended dog inside your house with no way of getting out to use the potty, unless you have those little pee-pee pad things, but we don't want a small dog that would use those.

Could you imagine seeing a lab or a golden retriever using one of those? And I don't think one pad would do the trick.

Anyways...

Even getting a dog would alter our life greatly, but sometimes I don't care. I want a puppy and I want him now.

Until mornings like this.

I love the freedom Chris and I have, and I enjoy the fact that we are able to wake up when we want, eat when want to eat, and do whatever the heck we want to the rest of the day. 

You can't always do that when you have another member of the family living in your house. 

Don't get me wrong! I am looking so forward to Chris and I welcoming a little bundle of joy into our home (I'm talking about a baby, here). I cannot wait for the day when we find our we're expecting, the excitement of wondering if it's a boy or a girl, the anticipation of wondering when he/she will make their debut, and then tackling our first night home with our little one. I'm super pumped about that day.

But I'm okay with it not being today.

I love our Saturday mornings together, just the hubby and I. It makes me realize how blessed I am each and every day to be able to say, 'This is my life, and I absolutely love it.'

There are some cinnamon rolls calling my name, so I think I should wrap this up before they turn cold. Enjoy these little quotes about marriage before you leave, though:

 

I hope you have a fantastic Saturday! Oh yeah, and Go Dawgs!!

Women Are Like Onions...

I think I am FINALLY over the awful beginnings of a sinus infection. I still don't feel awesome, but I feel so much better than I did. Just in time for me to hang out with the little man today, sure have missed him on my days off!

After babysitting for so many families, and having dozens of little girls walk into my class at dance, it's safe to say that no two children are alike.

If you have more than one child, or if you have had a group of kids in the same room with you for longer than 5 minutes, you know what I mean.

Especially with the little girls. Every little girl I have encountered is different from the next. And that doesn't change as they get older. In fact, I think it becomes even more evident how different women can be from one another.

Some women are strong, independent, 'no man-no cry' attitude who are very much career driven.

Some women are timid, very shy, non-assertive in social situations who are more than okay with taking the back seat to others who want the spotlight.

Others are funny, the life of the party, hasn't met a stranger before and probably never will. And you can't forget those who are just down-right awkward, but embrace it and love themselves for it.

Not all are this cut-and-dry, though. Probably more women than not are a mixture of two or three of these, plus other characteristics I haven't even begun to talk about yet.

Women are like onions: we have many, many layers.

Now, I cannot sit here and break down every layer of a woman. We will be here for years. But I can talk about a few of my layers, since I know myself better than any other woman out there and can be a little more transparent than just summarizing.

Side note: I think this is why the first year or two of marriage are some of the hardest. Whoever said, 'the first year is the honeymoon year,' got lucky. I have enjoyed every second of being married to Chris, but it's tough! Most of our arguments and disagreements don't stem from Chris, but from me. And it almost always has something to do with a 'layer' of me that Chris either doesn't know well or hasn't discovered.

Anyways, back to our discussion of women being like onions.

Being a woman is so very complex. There's so much to a woman's heart and spirit, that I feel like I discover something new about my own self all of the time. With each new experience, I uncover either more layers about myself, or just how thick and deep some of those layers I already knew about are. Being a woman doesn't come with a handbook, although I (and my husband) wish it did.

Since I was very young, I've been more on the sensitive side. I would cry at the drop of a hat, especially if someone else was crying. Although I've gotten a little more control over it, I still cry all of the time. At least two or three times a day I am wiping tears off of my cheeks.

I've also been a nurturer and desire nurturing in return. I want to take care of everyone, while being taken care of as well. I enjoyed baby dolls growing up, and I think that's what has inspired me to be a nanny. Also, I spent a huge part of my life at home with my mom and sisters, so that nurturing/being nurtured characteristic has come very naturally and has been encouraged for as long as I can remember.

Once I become a teenager and realized boys did not have cooties, I noticed another side of me: the hopeless romantic.

I have never been a career-driven women. There was nothing offered in high school that inspired me to commit 4+ years in college to achieve my goal. I wasn't the little girl who knew she wanted to be a school teacher or a nurse when she grew up. If anything, I wanted to be an actress, but we see how far that dream has gotten me. There was just nothing out there in the world that I wanted to be.

Except a wife and mom.

Instead of pursuing a college degree, I was pursuing a marriage license. I wanted to find the love of my life, take his last name, then make some babies.

All within a year or two of meeting.

I was an unrealistic hopeless romantic.

Once I went through high school without a date, I then figured I'd better figure out what I should do with my life in the meantime. I decided to then enroll at Augusta Tech to pursue an Associate's Degree in Early Childhood Care and Education.

That lasted all of three weeks.

I don't regret dropping out of Augusta Tech, not at all. But part of me does regret that I didn't then enroll at Augusta State University. Even if I didn't finish a degree, I would've at least had a foundation if I ever decided to go back. If I decided to go back in the future, I would have to start from scratch.

But that's okay, though! My life may be somewhere different now if I had.

Once I dropped out, I then had to find a job. That December, I got my first nannying job, watching little Miss Bella. I also became a dance teacher, a doctor's receptionist, a preschool worker at my childhood church, and babysat on the side.

All the while, still single and looking for love. But no luck.

I didn't keep a job for super long, because I wasn't happy. Nothing, with the exception of teaching dance and watching babies, satisfied what my soul desired. I desired love and to be loved. I desired to take care of and be taken care of. I desired a man to sweep me off my feet and carry me off into the sunset.

Many men came, and they all went. Some by their choice, some by mine. Most left on a bad note, a couple scarred me deeper than I ever thought imaginable. None were my Knight in Shining Armor.

At this moment, I realized just how much of a hopeless romantic I was. I always thought there was something wrong with me, though. Why didn't I desire to be a teacher or an accountant? Why were people insisting that I was wasting my intelligence by not attending college, that they were almost disappointed in me that I wasn't enrolled somewhere earning a degree? It just added fuel to the fire that was telling me I was wrong with the direction I allowed my life to go in, but why was I not driven to do and to be what they wanted me to be?

Why do I have this 'layer' of my life that makes up such a huge part of me, but I cannot shake it nor can I satisfy?

I then realized that I was not made a hopeless romantic by mistake.

I was made, with a Divine purpose, to be the way that I am. There's a reason I wanted to be swept off my feet. There's a reason that a part of me wanted so strongly to believe in love at first (or second) sight. There's a reason I desired to take care of my husband and our kids, and there's a reason I desired nothing else but that.

If I was made any other way, my life would be so very different.

If you've followed my blog any, you know that my Knight finally came, and boy, did he sweep me off my feet! I do believe it was love at second sight (this entry explains), and I fully believe he's the reason I was made to be a hopeless romantic.

I probably chased a rabbit with this entry, and hopefully I didn't lose too many people along the way, but I feel like there are others out there who have this desire and have felt this way as well, and I want to encourage those.

Nothing's wrong with you if college is not screaming your name, and you're not crazy if there's nothing you would rather do than to take care of your man and your kids. 

There's a reason, you just have to be patient to find out why.

Now that this 'layer' of mine has been met, it's, of course, altered a little bit. I'm still a hopeless romantic, but just in a different way. I'm very mushy-gushy and I absolutely love it. I am probably the girl you would see walking down the street, being a little too 'into' her man.

I don't really care, though. The rings on my left hand allows me be that way.

I also love the mushy-gushy gifts: the love notes (or texts now-a-days), the flowers, the silly little lovey-dovey things that make people gag. I probably bombard Chris with all of this a little too much (except I don't give him flowers, that would be weird...), but, once again, I don't care. It makes me happy, I know he knows that he's so deeply loved by me, and I haven't received any complaints yet.

Sounds like I need to keep 'em comin'!

Women are definitely like onions. You can't fully judge us by what we allow you to see, because there's so much more underneath that you haven't even begun to discover.

I think what made me love Chris even more was the fact that he wants to know all of the different 'layers' I have, even if some are pretty scary. His admittance to not knowing everything there is about me, but wanting and desiring to uncover as much as he can while it's just the two of us was probably one of the sweetest and most loving things I have ever heard. It's hard to choose to be vulnerable when you don't know what someone's reaction will be, but knowing that there is someone who asks you to be vulnerable so they can know you better than anyone else, and will love you unconditionally even after they discover it all, is an amazing and beautiful thing.

The baby and I met Chris for lunch today, and we had such a great time. I love moments where I can see him during the day. Even though we spend all of our free time together, I just can't get enough of my hot man!

Told ya I was a hopeless romantic :)