To Santa, or Not to Santa. That is the Question...

I just want to start off by saying I made one of the best dinners I have ever made in my entire life.

AND it was healthy.

Score!

I made salmon with a Dijon glaze, honey-glazed carrots, and brown rice. It was absolutely delicious and super easy to make. It only took about 45 minutes to get it all on the plate, and that's including putting two things in the oven at separate times. I was stoked!

 

It's not exactly a Martha Stewart Magazine-worthy photo, but I'm telling you, the recipes are worth being on the cover. It's that delicious.

 

Here's the recipes for Salmon with Dijon Glaze and the Honey-Glazed Carrots. I just used a Success Boil-in-the-Bag brown rice and didn't add absolutely anything to it.

 

So good.

 

Anyways, on to the next topic.

 

I've seen a few posts on Facebook about a blog entry entitled, 'Why the Haefs don't "Do" Santa.'

 

I have to be honest and tell you that it took me a little while to realize that 'Haefs' was actually a last name, not a group of people. I felt pretty dumb once I came to my senses. I guess changing your hair color doesn't help with the little moments of blonde-ness.

 

I decided to give it a look, just kind of curious as to what their reasoning's were behind not including Santa in their Christmas morning.

 

If you would like to check out the article before you read my thoughts on it, you can find it here.

 

If you don't really care to read it, here's a small summary of it:

 

They Haefs have chosen not to include Santa into their Christmas traditions because they feel it takes away from the real reason Christians celebrate Christmas. They see that Santa is like a 'distraction' from the love and grace of God that is to be celebrated, and they want their children to understand what December 25th is really about. They conclude that Christmas isn't about making a 'Naughty or Nice' list, but is about understand God's love and grace that was shown when He sent His Son. They don't shelter their children from Santa or any other Christmas traditions (Christmas tree, Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, etc.), they just don't allow their children to believe Santa rides a sleigh and travels down the chimney to leave presents on Christmas Day.

 

I really encourage you to read the article if you haven't, though. It brings some really interesting thoughts that I wasn't able to include in my summary, and really explains why they chose this.

 

Being the usually-silent-but-opinionated-person that I am, I'm going to share what I think!

 

Growing up, we believed in Santa. We sat out the cookies, wrote the letter, lost sleep while trying to hear the hoofs of reindeer walking across the roof, and finally walked into the living room to see what Santa left behind. We also knew the real reason we celebrated Christmas, which was the birth of Jesus. I don't feel that we put too much emphasis on Santa, and we didn't feel like it was a lie that our parents told us that led to us questioning anything else my parents told us. It was just a part of Christmas. Even up until this Christmas, my parents sat out gifts from Santa, and we all have long stopped believing. We didn't think it was a super-big deal when we realized our parents were the ones buying our gifts, at least I can't remember either one of my three sisters being upset over it.

 

I always figured I would carry on the same traditions with my family, but probably include the cute little 'Elf on the Shelf' as well, just so I can be the creatively-cool mom and figure out cute little set-ups our elf could get into.

 

After reading this article, though, several points the author made has brought quite a few things about Christmas to my attention.

 

Of course, Chris and I's main intention of every Christmas will be to celebrate the birth of Christ and what that brought to out lost world. Because of our faith, we believe there is no point in celebrating Christmas without Christ. We want our kids to understand that it's not about the presents, the tree, the lights nor the traditions, but about the greatest Gift of all, who came to die on a tree to bring Light into this dark world.

 

But what's the hurt in throwing the tradition of Santa in there, too?

 

This article really has me torn, and I don't even have kids yet! There's so much fun in the excitement of writing letters to Santa with all of our wishes, in the magic of believing there is a man named Santa who makes toys in the North Pole, that reindeer can fly, and that this guy eats all of the cookies and drinks all of the milk left in every home, yet can still go up and down the chimney without getting stuck. But it's so easy to get caught up in the magic of Santa and forget about the realness of the Messiah.

 

I don't want our Christmas to become about being 'naughty or nice' so Santa can bring presents instead of coal. I want our kids to understand that we give gifts because we were given the Greatest Gift of all. I want them to fully grasp exactly why December 25th is a special day for us to celebrate, and if Santa comes in between that understanding, then we may take the same approach as the Haefs.

 

But I also don't want to ruin Santa for other kids. I feel that if you teach your child that Santa is just another character like Mickey Mouse, they will then feel obligated to teach other children that Santa isn't real. That's not mine, nor my child's place to tell others that Santa doesn't exist if their parents choose to let their child believe. I remember trying to convince other kids Santa wasn't real when I found out he didn't exist, and I don't want my kids to do the same.

 

Being a parent during Christmastime is tough!

 

Of course, I will definitely talk to the hubby and get the OK from him before anything is set in stone. Good thing we have a while to figure this one out :)

 

I'm really glad I read this blog entry, even though it's given Chris and I one more thing to figure out when we talk about raising our little Johns babies. It brings up some seriously valid points, but doesn't show any judgment towards those who chose to 'do' Santa. It's so very well written, stuffed full of a lot of things to ponder on this Christmas (and every other Christmas) season.

 

It also makes me see just how serious and daunting of a task it is to raise kids in the world we live in today. Even if the world wasn't as scary as it is, raising kids is still some serious business! Even down to something such as Santa Claus, every little thing has to be address, understood, then taught to a child, who will then build the foundation for their own life from it.

 

It's quite frightening, yet so amazing.

 

I am very thankful that Chris and I have at least another three years before we have to worry about whether or not Santa will be 'believed' in or not in our house. And, more than likely, we will let our kids believe there is a Santa. But this article has definitely brought up many excellent points that I haven't always thought about. I will now, though!

 

It's exactly two weeks until Christmas, and I have a little more finished on my list of gifts to buy. Still a ways to go, though.

 

Christmas, would you please slow down? Just a little?

 

.......

 

Yeah, I figured you wouldn't. Oh well :)

Lessons From the Stand-In Mom (part two)

The other day, I wrote about the lessons I have learned from being a nanny and a babysitter. I say it's from a stand-in mom, because I feel that is what I am when I watch kids. Not only am I the enforcer of the rules and the keeper of the schedule, but I try to treat each child as if they were my own. I feel like they are my own when they're left in my care.

Hopefully you have read part one, because I talk about the more serious and life-changing lessons I have uncovered. In this entry, I'm going to discuss the more comedic, silly but still awesome lessons I've learned over the last 10+ years of watching children.

So, let us continue on in our saga called:

*WHAT I'VE LEARNED WHILE ACTING LIKE A MOM*

1ST LESSON: NEVER UNDERESTIMATE A BABY'S SKILL OF 'SPIT-UPS'
   
I cannot even count how many times I have been spit up on by a baby.

On the shoulder, in the lap, all over the jeans, all over the shirt, and sometimes in the face, spit-ups happen when you least expect it. And when you think they were able to contain it on themselves and their bibs, you place your hand in your hair, and realize they left you a great surprise which smells like milk that has been left in your car for three weeks during a heat wave. And it doesn't go away! It lingers on.

For hours.

As a mom, you may get the chance to shower real quick, or at least change clothes. But not when you're the nanny/babysitter! I can recall SO many times where the first thing that happened when I would arrive at their house would be a spit-up all on my shirt. And I'm not talking about a little dribble. I'm talking about my black shirt looking like it got mixed in with some heavy-duty bleach. You would think I would have learned by now to pack extra clothes!

But no. I always assume that I'm not going to get baby-bombed.

You know what they say about assuming...and I am made out to be a donkey every time it happens.

2ND LESSON: A BABY CAN PRODUCE MAN-SIZED BODILY FUNCTIONS

But seriously. They can.

The only boy/man that has lived in the same house as me before I got married was my dad. I didn't really know much about the hygiene of a guy (my dad lived with five women, so his 'guy' way of living was diluted a good bit), but I knew they had vile farts and could explode a bathroom.

So can a baby.

I have had quite a few of them pass gas, and I wondered if there was a man that was about to sneak-attack us and had Taco Bell before he came. Even little girls! It's amazing the power those little digestive systems have.

Ever heard of 'up-the-back' diaper explosions? If you haven't, you will once you watch a child long enough or have one of your own. It leaves you wondering, 'How in the heck did you produce SO MUCH when I KNOW all you had was a 4oz bottle!'

It comes out of the sides and up that back, even spills out onto you sometimes. That's always awesome to find a brown present on the jeans you just washed and have to wear all day. Once again, you would think I would prepare for the possibility, or likeliness, that this is going to happen.

But no. Not me. I'd rather walk around with the smell of a men's bathroom engulfing my nostrils.

All. Day. Long.

3RD LESSON: DIAPERS = EVIL NECCESITY

My husband and I joke that we're going to go ahead and start stocking up on diapers. We're not even planning on having a baby anytime soon, but sometimes I think it's not a bad idea.

You go through more diapers in one day than you think is even possible.

I think my record is changing 4 diapers on one child in one hour. For some reason, the child decided to drag out their bowl movement for as long as possible. Couldn't do it all at once! No, that would make it too easy for me. Gotta keep me on my toes.

Sorry for the TMI, but I know there is someone out there who is doing a little LOL-ing because they know what I'm talking about.

And just when you think you have stocked up on enough Size 3 diapers, your little one hits a growth spurt. The once well-fitting diaper is now barely covering the little buttocks, almost forming a wedgy for your poor child. Time to spend another $500 on Size 4!

I have not experienced the financial part of this situation, but I have experienced the wrestling of getting that tight diaper strapped on without cutting of the child's circulation. It's frustrating, because you don't want to waste the 100 diapers you have, but you don't want to injure the kid.

Of course, there's the reusable diaper option. I've heard it's cheaper and better for the environment since you're not throwing away diapers constantly, which makes sense.

But you have to clean them out. And after experiencing some diapers mentioned in lesson two, that's okay. I don't want to throw up. Just not worth it.

4TH LESSON: KIDS ARE SMARTER THAN YOU THINK

Having three younger sisters definitely helped prepare me for my future as a nanny/babysitter. Not only did it teach me how to take care of a child, but also to understand that a child is not dumb. Even little innocent babies know how to play you. It's the craziest thing!

Have you ever heard a baby (not a newborn) just scream? Maybe because they don't want to be held, or maybe because they don't want to go to sleep in their crib. For whatever reason it is, the just start getting loud. Immediate reaction? Get them to quiet down by whatever means it requires.

You know they're not in pain, you know they're not scared. They're just mad because they don't like what's going on. And they let you know. If you cave in to them, don't think they won't remember! They will then expect you to give in to whatever they want every time until you break that habit again. Once again, not worth going through the constant screaming to get some peace that one time you let them have their way.

And that's just the babies. Wait until they become toddlers and they can say words and form sentences. It's a whole different ballgame then.

Rule of thumb if you're nannying/babysitting: assume that, unless the parents have told you otherwise, whatever the child is telling you could be a way of them tricking you. Cannot tell you HOW many times a child has told me, 'I can eat that!' or ' Mommy let's me watch that!' and it wasn't true.

Let's just say it's been too many times.

5TH LESSON: NEVER TURN YOUR BACK ON A CHILD

90% of the time, your child/the child you're watching will do something that you will then either have to clean up or have to explain to their parents/your spouse as to why it happened.

Neither scenario is fun, I promise.

Most children are mischievous little creatures who enjoy getting into trouble. Some enjoy getting YOU into trouble. Don't think this is just for the nannies and the babysitters! This is for the parents too. Your kids will try to get you into trouble. Especially the daddies. For some reason that's fun.

I feel like a lot of this one goes back to my previous entry. Sometimes it's the child getting into trouble because the parents let them, or it's a desire to get their parents' attention. But sometimes, even if you do an excellent job raising them, their little personality just can't help but to cause some havoc.

I have cleaned up baby powder, spilled drinks, thrown food, little Legos, crayons on the wall, and so much more. I have tried to mend broken figurines, broken toys, torn pages, messed-up clothing, wet bed sheets, anything and everything you can think of. Some of it were accidents, but the most part, it happened when I turned my back for two seconds. Sometimes the child was a little devious and did it because he/she knew it was wrong, but for the most part, they were exploring and I wasn't there to tell them no.

Again, whatever it was that caused you to turn your back, not worth it. Not worth the time to clean, and not worth explaining to the parents when they get home.

DON'T. TURN. YOUR BACK!

Being a nanny, a babysitter, and/or a mom is like absolutely nothing else in this world. Watching a child grow and discover right before your eyes is on of the most awe-inspiring moments you can witness. But oh boy, does that same child test your patience and the control you have on your tongue. They can make you laugh, make you cry, and make you pull your hair out all in one small conversation. But they are worth every bit of it.

Like I said previously, I'm not claiming to know everything there is about raising children. I'm not a mom (yet), nor have I had to watch kids for longer than 18 hours at a time. But you don't watch infants, toddlers, and big kids for as long as I have without picking up a thing or two about these awesome human beings.

I'm excited about Chris and I having one of these awesome human being eventually!

But not anytime soon. Sorry Mom and Dad.

Lessons From the Stand-In Mom (part one)

After a few years of nannying, I have learned quite a bit about children and raising them. At least I feel like I have.

I am not claiming that I am the know-it-all woman who can raise kids to act like the final result of a Super Nanny episode. Being a mother and being a nanny are not the same. I fully believe carrying a child for 9-10 months, then pushing them out or have them cut out of your uterus gives you a lot more qualification of choosing how to raise your child than someone whom you pay every day to make sure your child has clean pants and a full belly. But you don't spend 40+ hours a week with a baby without picking up a few things on how to be a mom and how to raise children.

I honestly cannot put in this blog everything I have learned from nannying/babysitting, but I have decided to do a two-part entry on the 5 biggest lessons I've learned. I am dedicating this small series as:

*WHAT I'VE LEARNED WHILE ACTING LIKE A MOM*

Let's be honest, that is what a nanny/babysitter does. I am the stand-in mom while she is out and about, except I get to go home at night without a screaming child.

Here's the top 5 'serious' lessons I've learned, in no particular order:

1ST LESSON: A CHILD NEEDS LIMITATIONS
       Giving a child the ability to call the shots will do that child no good in the future. The older I get, the more I want to give my future children absolutely everything I can give them. But I understand that I can't. What purpose does it serve to give my child everything they ask for, and then allow them to disrespect me when they don't? What do they learn? They learn that if they desire something, they should get it. They don't have to work for it, they don't have to earn it, they don't have to experience disappointment of being told no without throwing an attitude. They get what they want, and that's that.

Please, do our society a favor, and teach your child that life does not revolve around them.

2ND LESSON: DON'T BE YOUR CHILD'S DICTATOR
     Like I said before, a child NEEDS limitations. But there is a line that shouldn't be crossed. Your child doesn't always need to hear no.

I have kept for a family where I felt like all I said was no. That's the way the family wanted it. There were SO many limitations on this little kid, I felt awful. NO to watching his favorite show, NO to playing in this room, NO to eating this, NO to having more milk, NO to going anywhere other than the park, NO to listening to this music. Everything was NO.

I have come to understand that there are two responses to this that a child will give:
1.) Resents the parents and idolizes everything they are told NO about, or
2.) Rebels.

Unfortunately, I feel the rebellion is more common than the resenting, although neither one is a good scenario. It's just not worth it in the long run. At least I feel it isn't.

3RD LESSON: NEVER COMPARE
    If you have children, or you have babysat for multiple families, you are quick to understand that there are no two children alike. Even in the same family. They may be very similar, but they still have their differences. Not sure what the difference might be? Watch their reaction to you taking away a toy or turning off the TV. But be prepared for what their reacting might be...

Once you know that no two children are the same, you have to apply it to all aspects of a child's life: growth, milestones they achieve, attitude towards situations, responses they give, intelligence, etc.

When you always compare your child to others, especially if they are close in age, either you will place your child on a pedestal or feel your child does not measure up to others.

Neither of these are good, because they lead to destructive attitudes for your child: an attitude of entitlement, or an attitude of never measuring up. Both are destructive to your child.

4TH LESSON: BE A PARENT, BUT BE THEIR BEST FRIEND
    I've heard my parents say over and over, 'You cannot be your child's best friend, you have to be their parent.'

Whereas I believe that parenting comes way before friendship, you have to have a friendship with your child. You also can't just be the parent and raise children. You have to let your child know that you are also their friend. Not only their friend, but their best friend.

I want my children to know that, first and foremost, I am their mom and Chris is their dad. We were given the task by God to raise them to be God-fearing, discerning, caring, intelligent, courageous, very much loved young adults that will one day be on their own and be participants in society. We will not take that task lightly and jeopardize their futures by us slacking off in their up-bringing. But I also want them to know that we want them to run with us with their problems. I want our children to understand that our love is unconditional, my ear is always available to listen, my shoulder is always there to cry on, my advice is always ready to be given, and my phone is always in hand if I need to call someone else's mama.

I don't want my children to run to their friends with their problems, I want it to be me. I want to be their best friend, no matter what is going on. I, of course, understand that there will be things that my kids will not want to discuss with Chris and I. I was a kid once, I haven't forgotten about those topics that you're quite alright without bringing up to the parents. But I don't want them to feel that anything they did or need is too big or too small to talk to me about or ask me about, or that I will fly off my rocker anytime they mess up. I know I won't be the perfect parent/friend that I desire to be, but I want to strive to be as close to it as possible.

5TH LESSON: IT IS NEVER TOO EARLY FOR A CHILD TO UNDERSTAND GOD
    I don't remember a time where I didn't know what God, Jesus, The Bible, and church were. There had to be a time where I was ignorant since we are not born with this knowledge, but I must have been very young.

I have worked with kids outside of nannying and babysitting at local churches and programs. Sometimes the greatest wisdom I hear comes from the mouth of a child. There's something about being a child who has heard about The Lord in-depth (well, as in-depth as you can go with a child) that gives them wisdom beyond their years. I also feel that it, along with continued nurturing, gives them a yearning and a desire to deepen their faith as they get older. It goes beyond the 'My First Bible' and the "Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep' prayer, but with conversations they have with their parents and listening to them pray. It is the parents taking an incredible interest in their children knowing more than just the song, 'Jesus Loves Me.'

I want my children to understand that Mommy and Daddy's marriage is not perfect, just as life isn't perfect, but that The Lord is perfect, and that is where our trust and our example should be. I want them to know that The Lord listens to every word they say, He never walks away, and His plan for them is perfect. I don't think our children have to be a certain age before we talk to them about their personal relationship with God.

I don't want my children to remember a time when God was not a part of their lives, and I don't want mine and Chris's lives to give them a reason to think otherwise.

***

I know all of these lessons are much easier to write out than they are to put them into action, especially coming from someone who's life has not been turned upside-down by a baby. And I'm sure someone out there is reading this and thinking, 'Just wait until you have a screaming 3 year old in Wal-Mart with all eyes staring at you, all because your child wants dog food for the Chihuahua we don't own. You'll change your tune.' You're right, I might. Doesn't mean I won't try to stick by my guns and practice what I preach. And it doesn't mean this is what I strive to be like when I become a parent.

After thinking about and writing all of my thoughts down on how to raise children, I am definitely okay with waiting to introduce a little one into this world. Although the hair bows and the bow ties are super adorable and the cute monogrammed outfits are close to irresistible, taking on the responsibility of bringing up a little boy or little girl right now is just not something Chris and I are ready to tackle. 

Yet.

Beauty Pageant Talk

I thought I would start this entry off with a parody of Toddlers and Tiaras, just because I find it to be one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my entire life. If you do not know who Makenzie is, here's a link to check out her segment.

I have been hearing a lot lately about the recent ban on beauty pageants for children under the age of 16 in France, and it has many people asking if the same should be done here in the U.S.

Since I am a fairly opinionated person, I thought I would weigh in on the topic.

The awareness of this young beauty pageant world came into light for the first time (that I can remember) due to the mysterious death of JonBenet Ramsey. Of course, the pageant was not at the forefront of this awful event, but I remember the reporters mentioning that she was a pageant girl.

But we all know where the recent debates over the harm-versus-good of children's beauty pageants came from. The TLC show, Toddlers and Tiaras.

I have to be honest, I actually enjoy watching this show. Sometimes I watch it for the amazing fact that these mamas will do just about anything to have their child win, and how they have raised some spoiled children. But I also watch it to see these little girls perform and absolutely love what they do.

I am not a huge fan of all of the glitz and spray tans and heavy makeup, but I have to ask myself, what's the difference between doing this for a pageant and doing it for a dance competition?

Now, at our studio, we definitely do not require spray tans and false teeth, but our seven and eight year olds do not completely look like seven and eight year olds on the stage. They have the heavy makeup, the flashy costumes and the false eyelashes. They have the big jewelry, the 'facials' and the strutting across the stage. They perform a lot like these pageant girls do.

I don't think the main problem is the actual pageant. I think it is what we are teaching these girls participating.

I make a huge effort for my girls to know and understand that each competition score is based on three judges opinions, and that is it. I am not fully concerned with what the judges think (although I always want them to score high!), but if they have fun and did their absolute best instead. I never want a student of mine to think their approval comes from a win. It comes from them leaving everything they have on that stage and they entertain the audience with their God-given talent of dance. Disappointment from not placing high is okay! In fact, that's good. But a rotten, spoiled-brat attitude is not allowed in my books. And our parents agree, which goes such a long way as a teacher. Knowing that my parents are giving them constructive criticism and also encouraging words instead of either belittling them or telling them the judges just don't know what they're talking about, makes my job a little easier.

That's what has left such an awful taste in our mouths about this pageant world. Not the ridiculous makeup and the huge dresses (even though I do think it has played a factor), but the attitude these moms and girls have.

You have the moms who scream and yell at their child and place so much pressure on them to win Ultimate Grand Supreme, so if they fail, their precious little girl feels like they are ugly and a failure. Then, on the opposite end, you have the moms who let their child run all over them and call the shots. The daughter is the one screaming and yelling, acting like a spoiled rotten child. And when they don't win, they have an attitude that they deserve better, which then causes them to be very rude to other contestants. Neither one of these scenarios are healthy, and it ruins what was once a more innocent hobby these girls have. Instead of these girls being celebrated for their beauty that The Lord gives each and every little girl, they walk away either crushed and feeling unattractive, or feeling they are entitled with a better-than-all attitude.

So should this be banned here in the U.S.?

Absolutely not.

This is not a government issue. This is a parenting issue. Period.

Parents are given the responsibility to teach their children the difference between right and wrong. This includes the right, gracious attitude to have and the wrong, destructive attitude to avoid in every single situation we face in life.

Including pageants and dance competitions.

So, wrapping this little rant up, I am against banning these beauty pageants here. It doesn't solve the parenting issue America faces.

I am actually hoping my husband and I have a little girl so I can enter her in some pageants. I'm thinking we will go down the 'natural pageant' route though, especially since Chris said he will not go to watch our daughter all made up like the girls on television.

I imagine if we have a little girl, though, Chris will do absolutely anything she wants. At least I'm hoping so :)