Lessons From the Stand-In Mom (part two)

The other day, I wrote about the lessons I have learned from being a nanny and a babysitter. I say it's from a stand-in mom, because I feel that is what I am when I watch kids. Not only am I the enforcer of the rules and the keeper of the schedule, but I try to treat each child as if they were my own. I feel like they are my own when they're left in my care.

Hopefully you have read part one, because I talk about the more serious and life-changing lessons I have uncovered. In this entry, I'm going to discuss the more comedic, silly but still awesome lessons I've learned over the last 10+ years of watching children.

So, let us continue on in our saga called:

*WHAT I'VE LEARNED WHILE ACTING LIKE A MOM*

1ST LESSON: NEVER UNDERESTIMATE A BABY'S SKILL OF 'SPIT-UPS'
   
I cannot even count how many times I have been spit up on by a baby.

On the shoulder, in the lap, all over the jeans, all over the shirt, and sometimes in the face, spit-ups happen when you least expect it. And when you think they were able to contain it on themselves and their bibs, you place your hand in your hair, and realize they left you a great surprise which smells like milk that has been left in your car for three weeks during a heat wave. And it doesn't go away! It lingers on.

For hours.

As a mom, you may get the chance to shower real quick, or at least change clothes. But not when you're the nanny/babysitter! I can recall SO many times where the first thing that happened when I would arrive at their house would be a spit-up all on my shirt. And I'm not talking about a little dribble. I'm talking about my black shirt looking like it got mixed in with some heavy-duty bleach. You would think I would have learned by now to pack extra clothes!

But no. I always assume that I'm not going to get baby-bombed.

You know what they say about assuming...and I am made out to be a donkey every time it happens.

2ND LESSON: A BABY CAN PRODUCE MAN-SIZED BODILY FUNCTIONS

But seriously. They can.

The only boy/man that has lived in the same house as me before I got married was my dad. I didn't really know much about the hygiene of a guy (my dad lived with five women, so his 'guy' way of living was diluted a good bit), but I knew they had vile farts and could explode a bathroom.

So can a baby.

I have had quite a few of them pass gas, and I wondered if there was a man that was about to sneak-attack us and had Taco Bell before he came. Even little girls! It's amazing the power those little digestive systems have.

Ever heard of 'up-the-back' diaper explosions? If you haven't, you will once you watch a child long enough or have one of your own. It leaves you wondering, 'How in the heck did you produce SO MUCH when I KNOW all you had was a 4oz bottle!'

It comes out of the sides and up that back, even spills out onto you sometimes. That's always awesome to find a brown present on the jeans you just washed and have to wear all day. Once again, you would think I would prepare for the possibility, or likeliness, that this is going to happen.

But no. Not me. I'd rather walk around with the smell of a men's bathroom engulfing my nostrils.

All. Day. Long.

3RD LESSON: DIAPERS = EVIL NECCESITY

My husband and I joke that we're going to go ahead and start stocking up on diapers. We're not even planning on having a baby anytime soon, but sometimes I think it's not a bad idea.

You go through more diapers in one day than you think is even possible.

I think my record is changing 4 diapers on one child in one hour. For some reason, the child decided to drag out their bowl movement for as long as possible. Couldn't do it all at once! No, that would make it too easy for me. Gotta keep me on my toes.

Sorry for the TMI, but I know there is someone out there who is doing a little LOL-ing because they know what I'm talking about.

And just when you think you have stocked up on enough Size 3 diapers, your little one hits a growth spurt. The once well-fitting diaper is now barely covering the little buttocks, almost forming a wedgy for your poor child. Time to spend another $500 on Size 4!

I have not experienced the financial part of this situation, but I have experienced the wrestling of getting that tight diaper strapped on without cutting of the child's circulation. It's frustrating, because you don't want to waste the 100 diapers you have, but you don't want to injure the kid.

Of course, there's the reusable diaper option. I've heard it's cheaper and better for the environment since you're not throwing away diapers constantly, which makes sense.

But you have to clean them out. And after experiencing some diapers mentioned in lesson two, that's okay. I don't want to throw up. Just not worth it.

4TH LESSON: KIDS ARE SMARTER THAN YOU THINK

Having three younger sisters definitely helped prepare me for my future as a nanny/babysitter. Not only did it teach me how to take care of a child, but also to understand that a child is not dumb. Even little innocent babies know how to play you. It's the craziest thing!

Have you ever heard a baby (not a newborn) just scream? Maybe because they don't want to be held, or maybe because they don't want to go to sleep in their crib. For whatever reason it is, the just start getting loud. Immediate reaction? Get them to quiet down by whatever means it requires.

You know they're not in pain, you know they're not scared. They're just mad because they don't like what's going on. And they let you know. If you cave in to them, don't think they won't remember! They will then expect you to give in to whatever they want every time until you break that habit again. Once again, not worth going through the constant screaming to get some peace that one time you let them have their way.

And that's just the babies. Wait until they become toddlers and they can say words and form sentences. It's a whole different ballgame then.

Rule of thumb if you're nannying/babysitting: assume that, unless the parents have told you otherwise, whatever the child is telling you could be a way of them tricking you. Cannot tell you HOW many times a child has told me, 'I can eat that!' or ' Mommy let's me watch that!' and it wasn't true.

Let's just say it's been too many times.

5TH LESSON: NEVER TURN YOUR BACK ON A CHILD

90% of the time, your child/the child you're watching will do something that you will then either have to clean up or have to explain to their parents/your spouse as to why it happened.

Neither scenario is fun, I promise.

Most children are mischievous little creatures who enjoy getting into trouble. Some enjoy getting YOU into trouble. Don't think this is just for the nannies and the babysitters! This is for the parents too. Your kids will try to get you into trouble. Especially the daddies. For some reason that's fun.

I feel like a lot of this one goes back to my previous entry. Sometimes it's the child getting into trouble because the parents let them, or it's a desire to get their parents' attention. But sometimes, even if you do an excellent job raising them, their little personality just can't help but to cause some havoc.

I have cleaned up baby powder, spilled drinks, thrown food, little Legos, crayons on the wall, and so much more. I have tried to mend broken figurines, broken toys, torn pages, messed-up clothing, wet bed sheets, anything and everything you can think of. Some of it were accidents, but the most part, it happened when I turned my back for two seconds. Sometimes the child was a little devious and did it because he/she knew it was wrong, but for the most part, they were exploring and I wasn't there to tell them no.

Again, whatever it was that caused you to turn your back, not worth it. Not worth the time to clean, and not worth explaining to the parents when they get home.

DON'T. TURN. YOUR BACK!

Being a nanny, a babysitter, and/or a mom is like absolutely nothing else in this world. Watching a child grow and discover right before your eyes is on of the most awe-inspiring moments you can witness. But oh boy, does that same child test your patience and the control you have on your tongue. They can make you laugh, make you cry, and make you pull your hair out all in one small conversation. But they are worth every bit of it.

Like I said previously, I'm not claiming to know everything there is about raising children. I'm not a mom (yet), nor have I had to watch kids for longer than 18 hours at a time. But you don't watch infants, toddlers, and big kids for as long as I have without picking up a thing or two about these awesome human beings.

I'm excited about Chris and I having one of these awesome human being eventually!

But not anytime soon. Sorry Mom and Dad.

Lessons From the Stand-In Mom (part one)

After a few years of nannying, I have learned quite a bit about children and raising them. At least I feel like I have.

I am not claiming that I am the know-it-all woman who can raise kids to act like the final result of a Super Nanny episode. Being a mother and being a nanny are not the same. I fully believe carrying a child for 9-10 months, then pushing them out or have them cut out of your uterus gives you a lot more qualification of choosing how to raise your child than someone whom you pay every day to make sure your child has clean pants and a full belly. But you don't spend 40+ hours a week with a baby without picking up a few things on how to be a mom and how to raise children.

I honestly cannot put in this blog everything I have learned from nannying/babysitting, but I have decided to do a two-part entry on the 5 biggest lessons I've learned. I am dedicating this small series as:

*WHAT I'VE LEARNED WHILE ACTING LIKE A MOM*

Let's be honest, that is what a nanny/babysitter does. I am the stand-in mom while she is out and about, except I get to go home at night without a screaming child.

Here's the top 5 'serious' lessons I've learned, in no particular order:

1ST LESSON: A CHILD NEEDS LIMITATIONS
       Giving a child the ability to call the shots will do that child no good in the future. The older I get, the more I want to give my future children absolutely everything I can give them. But I understand that I can't. What purpose does it serve to give my child everything they ask for, and then allow them to disrespect me when they don't? What do they learn? They learn that if they desire something, they should get it. They don't have to work for it, they don't have to earn it, they don't have to experience disappointment of being told no without throwing an attitude. They get what they want, and that's that.

Please, do our society a favor, and teach your child that life does not revolve around them.

2ND LESSON: DON'T BE YOUR CHILD'S DICTATOR
     Like I said before, a child NEEDS limitations. But there is a line that shouldn't be crossed. Your child doesn't always need to hear no.

I have kept for a family where I felt like all I said was no. That's the way the family wanted it. There were SO many limitations on this little kid, I felt awful. NO to watching his favorite show, NO to playing in this room, NO to eating this, NO to having more milk, NO to going anywhere other than the park, NO to listening to this music. Everything was NO.

I have come to understand that there are two responses to this that a child will give:
1.) Resents the parents and idolizes everything they are told NO about, or
2.) Rebels.

Unfortunately, I feel the rebellion is more common than the resenting, although neither one is a good scenario. It's just not worth it in the long run. At least I feel it isn't.

3RD LESSON: NEVER COMPARE
    If you have children, or you have babysat for multiple families, you are quick to understand that there are no two children alike. Even in the same family. They may be very similar, but they still have their differences. Not sure what the difference might be? Watch their reaction to you taking away a toy or turning off the TV. But be prepared for what their reacting might be...

Once you know that no two children are the same, you have to apply it to all aspects of a child's life: growth, milestones they achieve, attitude towards situations, responses they give, intelligence, etc.

When you always compare your child to others, especially if they are close in age, either you will place your child on a pedestal or feel your child does not measure up to others.

Neither of these are good, because they lead to destructive attitudes for your child: an attitude of entitlement, or an attitude of never measuring up. Both are destructive to your child.

4TH LESSON: BE A PARENT, BUT BE THEIR BEST FRIEND
    I've heard my parents say over and over, 'You cannot be your child's best friend, you have to be their parent.'

Whereas I believe that parenting comes way before friendship, you have to have a friendship with your child. You also can't just be the parent and raise children. You have to let your child know that you are also their friend. Not only their friend, but their best friend.

I want my children to know that, first and foremost, I am their mom and Chris is their dad. We were given the task by God to raise them to be God-fearing, discerning, caring, intelligent, courageous, very much loved young adults that will one day be on their own and be participants in society. We will not take that task lightly and jeopardize their futures by us slacking off in their up-bringing. But I also want them to know that we want them to run with us with their problems. I want our children to understand that our love is unconditional, my ear is always available to listen, my shoulder is always there to cry on, my advice is always ready to be given, and my phone is always in hand if I need to call someone else's mama.

I don't want my children to run to their friends with their problems, I want it to be me. I want to be their best friend, no matter what is going on. I, of course, understand that there will be things that my kids will not want to discuss with Chris and I. I was a kid once, I haven't forgotten about those topics that you're quite alright without bringing up to the parents. But I don't want them to feel that anything they did or need is too big or too small to talk to me about or ask me about, or that I will fly off my rocker anytime they mess up. I know I won't be the perfect parent/friend that I desire to be, but I want to strive to be as close to it as possible.

5TH LESSON: IT IS NEVER TOO EARLY FOR A CHILD TO UNDERSTAND GOD
    I don't remember a time where I didn't know what God, Jesus, The Bible, and church were. There had to be a time where I was ignorant since we are not born with this knowledge, but I must have been very young.

I have worked with kids outside of nannying and babysitting at local churches and programs. Sometimes the greatest wisdom I hear comes from the mouth of a child. There's something about being a child who has heard about The Lord in-depth (well, as in-depth as you can go with a child) that gives them wisdom beyond their years. I also feel that it, along with continued nurturing, gives them a yearning and a desire to deepen their faith as they get older. It goes beyond the 'My First Bible' and the "Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep' prayer, but with conversations they have with their parents and listening to them pray. It is the parents taking an incredible interest in their children knowing more than just the song, 'Jesus Loves Me.'

I want my children to understand that Mommy and Daddy's marriage is not perfect, just as life isn't perfect, but that The Lord is perfect, and that is where our trust and our example should be. I want them to know that The Lord listens to every word they say, He never walks away, and His plan for them is perfect. I don't think our children have to be a certain age before we talk to them about their personal relationship with God.

I don't want my children to remember a time when God was not a part of their lives, and I don't want mine and Chris's lives to give them a reason to think otherwise.

***

I know all of these lessons are much easier to write out than they are to put them into action, especially coming from someone who's life has not been turned upside-down by a baby. And I'm sure someone out there is reading this and thinking, 'Just wait until you have a screaming 3 year old in Wal-Mart with all eyes staring at you, all because your child wants dog food for the Chihuahua we don't own. You'll change your tune.' You're right, I might. Doesn't mean I won't try to stick by my guns and practice what I preach. And it doesn't mean this is what I strive to be like when I become a parent.

After thinking about and writing all of my thoughts down on how to raise children, I am definitely okay with waiting to introduce a little one into this world. Although the hair bows and the bow ties are super adorable and the cute monogrammed outfits are close to irresistible, taking on the responsibility of bringing up a little boy or little girl right now is just not something Chris and I are ready to tackle. 

Yet.

Playing a Little Catch Up - Buffalo Chicken Mac n Cheese

I think I'm going to take a little break from blogging during the weekends.

During the week, I don't really get to see my husband very much. I teach dance Monday and Thursday nights and we have church on Wednesdays. Tuesday nights we normally don't have anything, but I have to get up early on Wednesday mornings, so I try to be in bed by 9:30 (sometimes by 8:00. I like my sleep!). After all of that, it just doesn't leave me much time to spend with Chris. So, I am now dedicating as much time as I can to my wonderful husband each weekend.

Unless it's guy-time. I will not be dedicating my time to that. I will instead be dedicating it to a pedicure and some new clothes.

Since I didn't write anything over the weekend, here's what took place:

Our small town team lost Friday night, 35-13. It was okay though! They played very hard, the other team was just a little bigger and a little faster. Or a lot bigger and a lot faster. Either way, they still made us very proud!

UGA beat LSU!! That was definitely an exciting game. A little too exciting, but I can handle it if we end up winning. I feel like when you lose after such a nail-biter, you feel like you wasted 4 hours of your life.

Maybe that's a woman thing, though. I doubt men find watching any kind of football a waste.

Chris and I also watched Oblivion last night. I was even more confused at the end of the movie than I was in the beginning. Great acting, interesting story, not-so-great execution and conclusion. Unless you're into stories that befuddle (like that 'big' word I used?) you and leave some questions un-answered, I wouldn't recommend it. 

This weekend, I decided to cook. That's kind of a rare thing since I usually only cook during the week, but we ate fast food soo much last week, and I really didn't want to spend anymore money in a drive-thru line, so I headed into the kitchen on a Saturday afternoon.

I didn't cook a ton when I lived with my parents because, well, my mom and dad are pretty much awesome cooks. I did do a little bit of cooking towards my last years under their roof, but normally mom picked out the recipe and did the shopping, so all I had to do was follow the directions.

Or go to Wal-Mart or by Zaxby's and buy already-cooked food. Yes, I admit, I did do that on occasion. Don't judge.

By the time I left home this past summer, I knew how to read a recipe and how to brown ground beef. Oh, and cook pasta. I knew how to do that. Fish and chicken? Not so much, unless all I had to do was put it on a pan and pop it in the oven or put it in a crock pot and let it simmer all day. Cooking either one raw just wasn't something I was prepared to do, but I was willing to try.

After a couple times of trial and error, I can finally cook up some mean salmon and some not-dried-out chicken.

I say all of this to now tell you that I am now a little obsessed with cooking recipes that call for cooked chicken, just because I'm a little proud that I can now do it. And I also love buffalo-sauce flavoring. I can only take so much heat before I need a gallon of milk to put out the fire in my mouth, but if it's covered in buffalo sauce, I am willing to put my taste buds in jeopardy.

I pinned a recipe for Buffalo Chicken Mac n Cheese on Pinterest the other day (as you can tell from my other posts, I'm a little obsessed with this awesome website), and I decided to give it a try since it sounded like a football-season food, and it combines my love for buffalo sauce with my new obsession with cooking chicken.

Oh.

My.

Goodness.

So good. Just, so daggum good.

I've already typed out a ton on this entry, so I will just give you the >>link<<. But it is seriously one of the best, and fairly simple recipes I've used! I had everything on hand, and I used Ritz crackers instead of Panko crumbs to top it off, which made this recipe even better. I boiled three chicken breasts for about 15 minutes, and they turned out so juicy. SO much better than the way I cooked it in this recipe from last week.

And, to top it off, it was a hit with the hubby too! We used ranch dressing to help balance out some of the heat, but I think I might try bleu cheese dressing with some bleu cheese crumbles sprinkled on top to give it a little different flavor. Maybe even throw some celery in it too. So many possibilities!

 

 

Here's our awesome plates with the Hidden Valley Light Ranch and Texas Pete Buffalo Sauce I used (they were still on the counter so I thought I'd throw it into the picture too).

 

Tonight, we're eating frozen pizza, instant mashed potatoes, and Kraft Mac N Cheese.

 

Hey, it's still cooking at home! Just little shortcuts to make a little easier, and to give me more time to hang out with my hot husband :) 

 

Happy Monday, Y'all!

Just a Small Town School

Harlem High School Baccalaureate 2007

Oh goodness, it's hard to believe this picture was taken over six years ago. I remember wishing I was in high school, then wishing I could graduate. Now I catch myself wishing I could spend one more Friday during football season there.

I graduated from a small town school. Everyone knows everyone, and, unless you moved in randomly, you're probably related to one or five people there.

But seriously. Everyone knows everyone.

When I was in school, there were four high schools in our county. Rumors had it that Harlem was about 50/50 with ethnicity percentage, and 100% redneck. We were also the school that, when you told someone you were a student there, they always apologized and had pity on me.

We were the ugly red-headed step-child of Columbia County.

I say we were, but in some ways, we still are.

When I graduated, we had about 1200 students enrolled. My graduated class had about 250 seniors in it (give or take a few, it's been too long I can't remember), and we were in class AAA for the GHSA sanctions. We were, and still are, the smallest school in the county. Financial support was pretty much relied on our teachers and coaches holding fundraisers, because we were also the poorest school. I'm not saying that we were poor! But I am saying that's how well endowed the other three schools were. Especially one that will remain un-named (does anyone hear any howling?).

If it wasn't bad enough, we also never scored very well on any testing.

Since I have graduated, another school was built in the county that affected Harlem greatly. It took a huge chunk out of our school and replaced it with some from the more rich and elite school of the county. The enrollment went from around 1200 to about 800 or less, which then dropped us to AA. When the re-zoning was taking place, a lot of people refused to go to Harlem. They moved, they pulled strings, they put down other relatives' addresses, anything they could do to not go to Harlem. There were even protests. Many left Harlem and went to the new school, even though they were not a part of the re-zoning. Someone from the more elite school even questioned a dad to see if he was really serious about sending his child to 'that' school. She mentioned it to the wrong person, because he was a graduate of Harlem High.
Needless to say, we weren't very well liked around here. All of our support had to come from those within the school and our wonderful Board of Education representative, because we weren't getting much more from the rest of the county.

I don't understand why, but people hated us.

So, there's the negative, not-so-awesome parts of being a graduate of a small town school. Here's the reasons I wouldn't trade my Harlem Bulldog pride for anything else.

Like I said, I graduated with around 250 other seniors. I knew every person that walked across the stage with me, or at least I knew of them. The majority of them were in at least one of my classes throughout my high school career, and the rest I knew from lunch, from sporting events, or through other friends. I feel like there's not many schools, at least in this county, that can say that.

Every single teacher I had cared about me and my education. Even teachers that I never had, they still cared. It's not easy to teach at Harlem, but I think that's what makes the teachers there so incredible.

After the re-zoning, our test scores improved greatly. In fact, if I am not mistaken, in at least one subject we were the highest in the county. Either way, test scores improved by a great deal.

After the re-zoning, it affected our sports greatly, especially football. We went two seasons with only two wins total. People kept saying that it was the coaching, they should be fired, and if 'so and so' coached instead, we would have winning seasons. If you know me at all, you know my daddy coaches football at Harlem, so hearing these things were very hurtful. Especially since some came from so-called 'friends of the family.'

This season, we are 4-0. And not just scraping-by 4-0. It's stomping-the-other-team-to-the-ground 4-0. I have never seen so much pride in the little town of Harlem like I have now. Everyone is SO excited for our team. They played Social Circle last week and won 38-6. Once they got back in the town of Harlem, they had a police escort to the high school. At the high school, there were parents and fans awaiting their arrival with horns and shouts to welcome them home.

I'm tearing up as I write this.

I have been there for the days when people had nothing but awful things to say about a school that has played such a huge part in my life. After all, my dad has been at Harlem since 1981, so I had no choice but to love Harlem Dogs like I love my UGA Dawgs. I have heard the 'I'm sorry you're at Harlem,' 'I could never go to Harlem,' 'It's not as hard to get good grades at Harlem than it is at the other schools,' and 'The coaches should be fired because they do not care about winning here at Harlem.' By the way, there is a man at Harlem that is still trying to get the coaches fired, even though they're winning. I have had to stand by my dad, my mom, and my sisters while people trash talk us. I have seen the front page covers of The Augusta Chronicle and the Columbia News Times when Harlem has lost by a great number, and I've read the small, barely-there columns when we have actually done well. I've noticed the other schools in the county getting more publicity, just because they are somehow the 'pride' of Columbia County. And I'm not just talking about football! Ask our softball parents, they'll tell you too.

But I was there for the first time Harlem entered the football playoffs in who knows how many years. I was there when Harlem beat Evans High on their own turf the first time we played them in years, and we charged the field and celebrated while the Evans fans we stunned in their bleachers. I was there when Harlem baseball won the region at Cross Creek in 2008, something that we had gotten close but just couldn't achieve in a long time. I was there when we won our first football game in two years on our homecoming, and seeing the coaches faces and knowing that the struggles were finally paying off. And now I'm here to witness this small town school finally get some pride back, and finally get some well-deserved attention.

We may be the red-headed step-child of Columbia County, but I would never trade in my red and black for black and gold, maroon and silver, and not for green and yellow.

I could not be more proud of the school that I have the honor and privilege of calling my alma-mater, and I could not be more happy for this small town phoenix that is finally rising from the ashes of disrespect and defeat.

I hope this school spirit never fades, but that we can continue it on, no matter what I winning record might be.

Gosh, I can't believe I cried actual tears while writing this.

I'm hoping Chris and I will go to the game tonight and watch our Dogs go 5-0, and I cannot wait to dress our little ones up in the future and hear them shout, 'Go Dogs!'

Let that victory bell ring loud tonight, Dogs! We. Are. Harlem!

5 Love Languages

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

I'm not sure if you have read this book or not, but I highly recommend it. Even if you are single, still read it.

But seriously, go get it today. Right now, if you can. It's that good.

Before Chris and I got married, I had heard so many wonderful things about The 5 Love Languages and how it can transform your relationship/marriage with your partner. Me, being the 'I don't want to be left out' kind of girl, I went to our local Lifeway Christian Bookstore and bought a copy. I decided to read it before Chris, and it was something that I had a hard time putting down. It's amazing how well Gary Chapman captures each love language and describes it in a way that you understand and say to yourself, 'that's why I/Chris have/has been acting that way!'

If you are not familiar with the book, Chapman takes 5 ways of showing love that we all desire:

1.) Words of Affirmation
2.) Acts of Service
3.) Receiving Gifts
4.) Quality Time
5.) Physical Touch

He describes what each love language means and examples of why this action shows us strong love. At the end of the book, you take a short quiz to see which love language appeals to you more and places them in order from strongest to weakest.

He also talks about a 'love bank' that we all have, in which every action either deposits or withdrawals love.

After Chris and I both read it, we shared our love languages with each other. Mine were Quality Time first, Physical Touch second. Chris's were Physical Touch, then Quality Time.

I felt like we were pretty spot-on with that outcome. I knew mine would be quality time, and I was 99.9% sure Chris's would be physical touch.

It's been about 4 months or so since we've read it, and I feel that my love language has changed a bit. Especially since I'm finally settling into the wife role.

As you can tell from the name of my blog, I am a wife, a nanny, and a dance teacher. It's a fairly full plate.

I don't handle full plates very well. At all. Just ask my poor husband, who gets to hear how I don't handle full plates well on a regular basis.

It's not the I don't love what I do! I absolutely love being a nanny and being a dance teacher, and I have been preparing myself to be a wife since I was in middle school. But adding the three together and then throwing in a dirty house just isn't always the greatest combination. At least for me, it's not.

I have found that quality time with Chris is definitely the greatest way I feel love. Last night, we grabbed some Wing Stop, sat in our living room with the TV off, and enjoyed a meal together without hearing Big Bang Theory in the background. And, of course, I love holding his hand and cuddling with him. If you're married, I'm sure you know other ways we use physical touch to show love, but I have kids that read this blog, so we'll just leave it at that.

But lately, the other three love languages have been creeping up and screaming, 'we need to be shown love too!'

The big one is Acts of Service. It has appeared like a huge defensive lineman trying to make his presence known by sacking me, and then burying me into the ground.

Okay. So maybe that was a stupid analogy. But you get the point.

Our largest fight as husband and wife came because of this language. I don't even know why I started feeling this way all of a sudden, but it made it's point that it was not going anywhere until it was met.

So what's the point of telling this long and drawn-out story? I'm getting to it, I promise.

Although The 5 Love Languages book makes one very aware of the different ways love should be met and the two that need to be met more than the others, you can't deny the ones that came in 3rd, 4th, and 5th, or they will remind you that they have been neglected for far too long.

Why should you read this book? If you're married or in a relationship, it is an eye-opener on how to love your spouse/partner even better and in ways that they desire. If you're single, it reveals how you will feel love the strongest and to become aware of how to love others. Not only can you apply this to romantic relationships, but it also works with relationships with loved ones and even friends.

To sum it up, it helps you to love others better and stronger, while understanding what fills up your 'love bank.'
Chris and I talked about it last night, and we decided that vacuuming the house and doing the dishes were no longer on my list of things to do, that he will be taking those things over until I am able to become a homemaker. It's amazing how giving up vacuuming and dishes lifted so much stress off of my shoulders, and made me fall even more in love with my husband.

Did I mention that Chris also gave me money to go shopping?

Yep, my love bank is quite full. Now time to plan on how to return the favor... ;)

Beauty Pageant Talk

I thought I would start this entry off with a parody of Toddlers and Tiaras, just because I find it to be one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my entire life. If you do not know who Makenzie is, here's a link to check out her segment.

I have been hearing a lot lately about the recent ban on beauty pageants for children under the age of 16 in France, and it has many people asking if the same should be done here in the U.S.

Since I am a fairly opinionated person, I thought I would weigh in on the topic.

The awareness of this young beauty pageant world came into light for the first time (that I can remember) due to the mysterious death of JonBenet Ramsey. Of course, the pageant was not at the forefront of this awful event, but I remember the reporters mentioning that she was a pageant girl.

But we all know where the recent debates over the harm-versus-good of children's beauty pageants came from. The TLC show, Toddlers and Tiaras.

I have to be honest, I actually enjoy watching this show. Sometimes I watch it for the amazing fact that these mamas will do just about anything to have their child win, and how they have raised some spoiled children. But I also watch it to see these little girls perform and absolutely love what they do.

I am not a huge fan of all of the glitz and spray tans and heavy makeup, but I have to ask myself, what's the difference between doing this for a pageant and doing it for a dance competition?

Now, at our studio, we definitely do not require spray tans and false teeth, but our seven and eight year olds do not completely look like seven and eight year olds on the stage. They have the heavy makeup, the flashy costumes and the false eyelashes. They have the big jewelry, the 'facials' and the strutting across the stage. They perform a lot like these pageant girls do.

I don't think the main problem is the actual pageant. I think it is what we are teaching these girls participating.

I make a huge effort for my girls to know and understand that each competition score is based on three judges opinions, and that is it. I am not fully concerned with what the judges think (although I always want them to score high!), but if they have fun and did their absolute best instead. I never want a student of mine to think their approval comes from a win. It comes from them leaving everything they have on that stage and they entertain the audience with their God-given talent of dance. Disappointment from not placing high is okay! In fact, that's good. But a rotten, spoiled-brat attitude is not allowed in my books. And our parents agree, which goes such a long way as a teacher. Knowing that my parents are giving them constructive criticism and also encouraging words instead of either belittling them or telling them the judges just don't know what they're talking about, makes my job a little easier.

That's what has left such an awful taste in our mouths about this pageant world. Not the ridiculous makeup and the huge dresses (even though I do think it has played a factor), but the attitude these moms and girls have.

You have the moms who scream and yell at their child and place so much pressure on them to win Ultimate Grand Supreme, so if they fail, their precious little girl feels like they are ugly and a failure. Then, on the opposite end, you have the moms who let their child run all over them and call the shots. The daughter is the one screaming and yelling, acting like a spoiled rotten child. And when they don't win, they have an attitude that they deserve better, which then causes them to be very rude to other contestants. Neither one of these scenarios are healthy, and it ruins what was once a more innocent hobby these girls have. Instead of these girls being celebrated for their beauty that The Lord gives each and every little girl, they walk away either crushed and feeling unattractive, or feeling they are entitled with a better-than-all attitude.

So should this be banned here in the U.S.?

Absolutely not.

This is not a government issue. This is a parenting issue. Period.

Parents are given the responsibility to teach their children the difference between right and wrong. This includes the right, gracious attitude to have and the wrong, destructive attitude to avoid in every single situation we face in life.

Including pageants and dance competitions.

So, wrapping this little rant up, I am against banning these beauty pageants here. It doesn't solve the parenting issue America faces.

I am actually hoping my husband and I have a little girl so I can enter her in some pageants. I'm thinking we will go down the 'natural pageant' route though, especially since Chris said he will not go to watch our daughter all made up like the girls on television.

I imagine if we have a little girl, though, Chris will do absolutely anything she wants. At least I'm hoping so :)

Casserole Love - Poppy Seed Chicken

Yesterday may have been the longest Monday of my life. I don't really know why either.

My day was not out of the ordinary. I got up at 6:40am, fixed me a cup of coffee, kissed my husband bye (the lucky man gets to sleep in later than me), then drove twenty-five minutes to go nanny. I left there at 4:45pm and went to dance at 5:15pm, finished at 7:30pm, then headed home to cook.

Maybe it's because I had the brilliant idea of trying a new recipe that required me to cook chicken before I even started assembling the casserole. We didn't eat until after 9:00pm. By the time we finished eating, I could barely keep my eyes opened.

And I still needed to get a shower.

I apologize now for anyone who brushes by me and smells a tiny bit of an odor. Sleep was more important last night than smelling nice.

Anyways, the reason for my little rant above was to state that I made a new casserole! I really am trying to give my poor husband some variety besides pizza and ground beef. So, I decided to make something that my mom used to make all of the time, and I always enjoyed it. A lot of you can probably remember having this dish at home growing up, as well. I feel like this is a classic recipe that I hope to keep perfecting throughout the years.

The recipe I used is originally from Six Sisters Stuff (here's the link!), but, of course, I found it on Pinterest.

I tell you, if it wasn't for Pinterest, I would have been the most lost bride, would be a lost wife, and will definitely be a lost mom. I. Love. Pinterest.

Here's the recipe:

2 cups chicken, cooked and diced
2 cups Ritz crackers, crushed - I ended up adding some more last minute
1 Tablespoon poppy seeds
1 (10.75 oz) can cream of chicken soup
1 1/2 cups sour cream
1/2 cup butter, melted
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce (optional)
1 teaspoon minced garlic (optional)
1 Tablespoon lemon juice (optional) - I only used the garlic, which I DO NOT recommend. Do all three or none at all. Garlic was waayyy too strong and it needed the others to dilute it some

I cooked the chicken in a skillet/frying pan (I'm still trying to figure out exactly what that pan is), which may not have been the best way. It took a while and I kept getting the pan too hot, so the chicken was sticking. I've heard of boiling the chicken, but I've never attempted that, so I just stuck with what I knew.

1.) Once the chicken is cooked, dice it up into small bite-size pieces.
2.) Mix chicken, cream of chicken soup, and sour cream together in one bowl. If you decide to use the optional ingredients, mix them in with the chicken as well.
3.) In another bowl, mix Ritz crackers, melted butter and poppy seeds.
4.) Spray a 9x13 pan with cooking spray.
5.) Pour the chicken mixture in, then top with the buttery Ritz crackers.
6.) Cover with foil and place in a 350 degree oven for 15 minutes.
7.) Take foil off and place back in the oven for another 15 minutes.
8.) Enjoy!

Doesn't it look yummy? It really was good! Except for the garlic. I could've repelled Dracula in Transylvania from our house in Augusta. It was that bad. My sweet husband didn't complain about the garlic-overload at all, though. In fact, he even tried to tell me that it wasn't super strong because of the Ritz crackers.

I knew there was a reason I snatched him up as soon as I could!

So, anyways, I do believe this recipe could become a favorite of ours. So easy and delicious.

Does anyone else have any tips and ideas on how to perfect this? Or any ingredients you add and/or exchange from the ones I used?

I'm going to grab me a Lunchable now. All of this talk about food is making me hungry.